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From: Anon

Anon asks:

Dear Fearsome Five.

If you were to have a child/children, how would you raise him/her/them?


Negaduck: Simple. I wouldn’t raise them. I’ve got better things to do with my time than hang around some useless brat.

Bushroot: Plants and children are alike in that respect. They need food, water, and sunlight to grow, along with plenty of TLC! But er… I think I’m getting ahead of myself. Before I can have a little sproutling of my own, I need to find a wife. Though I suppose I COULD grow myself a kid…

Liquidator: The Liquidator finds it highly unlikely he’ll be able to spawn the CEOs of tomorrow when his major body organs are gone like a clearance sale! Hypothetically speaking though, I’d teach the little ones how to count from one dollar to a trillion! They’d be shipped off to the finest business schools to learn the essentials of running a multi-million dollar industry. And, of course, they’d be inheriting the Bud Flood corporation!

Quackerjack: Ooh, what a splendid idea! If I had a kiddie of my own, he could test-drive all my newest toys! AND I wouldn’t have to pay him!

Megavolt: What do you mean ‘if’?! I already have thousands of luminescent children! They’re the light of my life! My little sparkly warklies get the best care from Papa Megavolt, no thanks to all you ungrateful monsters! Poor wittle bubblies, forced to work endlessly just so these ungrateful monsters can see in the dark. Haven’t you ever heard of child labor laws?!

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