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Disclaimer: I do not own Darkwing Duck and make no money of these stories. Some quotes may be taken directly from the show/comic.

Ch 1: Love and Hats

Watch episode: Return of the Revenge of the Brainteasers (heck, watch the first one too)

Setting: Darkwing Tower. The Fearsome Five picked a bad time to discover Darkwing's hideout.


'Hurry up, Dad! We've just got to stop those creepy alien dudes,' Gosalyn announced, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for Darkwing to finish dressing.

'They won't get far,' the older duck stated firmly. Seconds later, an explosion rocked the tower and Darkwing threw himself over his daughter to protect her.

'Guess who!' a maniacal voice laughed.

'Negaduck! And your lackeys,' Darkwing coughed, straightening from his crouch to glare at the five villains that had just blasted a hole in his secret hide-out.

'What, no snappy slogan for us, Dipwing?' Megavolt chuckled, his fingers lighting up dramatically.

'You won't get away with this! For I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am... The Queen of the Galaxy!'

'I don't get the reference,' Bushroot admitted, sharing a shrug with Quackerjack. Turning their attention back to the purple menace, they could barely hold in their giggles at the rather feminine bonnet, complete with a pink ribbon, the super-hero was wearing.

'Oh no! A brain-sucking alien from outer space!' the red-haired duckling backpedaled away from the masked avenger with a look of horror on her little face.

'Enough chit-chat, Darkwing. I'm going to take you apart,' Negaduck announced, gesturing for this lackeys to advance on the super-hero.

'Is that any way to treat a lady? Unhand me you... you brute!' the caped crusader shrieked the moment the yellow-clad duck grabbed his arm.

Negaduck snarled under his breath and reached out to rip the bonnet off the other duck's head.

'What is the meaning of this? Unhand my woman, you ignorant biped!' Binkie Muddlefoot, clad in a green hat, marched up to the villains and glared down at Negaduck with a furious expression on her face.

'Flarg, my darling,' Darkwing swooned, eyes filling with pink hearts at the sight of the other Brainteaser.

'Listen, Darkwing. I don't know what you and this little housewife are trying to pull here, but it ends now,' Negaduck turned away from the canary and pulled the caped crusader close.

'The nerve! But I suppose your body would make a better host than this empty-headed one. Ah hah!'

The fearsome four watched in stunned amazement as the housewife ripped their leader's hat off his head. Before Negaduck could retaliate, the green hat flung itself onto his head and all at once... the evil duck began to laugh, 'Now you belong to me!'

'Oh, Flarg! You're so masterful,' Darkwing purred, hugging Negaduck around the neck and pressing a kiss to his beak.

'I'm very confused,' Bushroot sighed, scratching his head at the sight of the two ducks making out in front of them.

'My eyes! They're about to short circuit!' Megavolt cried, throwing his arms over his face to protect himself from the sight.

'Now that I have you by my side, Talaya, my sweet, we can take over this miserable little planet. And then the galaxy shall be MINE! I mean, OURS, my pretty one,' Negaduck released Darkwing, only to bend on one knee and kiss his hand. Darkwing giggled and batted his eyelashes at the yellow-clad duck.

'Your wish is my command, my darling. Oh, and by the way, how do you like my new outfit? It's so... me!' Darkwing slipped away from Negaduck to whirl around, showing off his violet jacket and cape.

'You are ravishing, my love. How beautiful we will look, sitting side by side on the thrones of the galaxy!' Negaduck announced, sharing an evil laugh with his future queen.

'Suck pepper, evil doers!'

The group looked up to see the red-haired duckling swinging from the sky with a familiar gas gun in her hands. A cloud of dust shot out of the barrel and engulfed the group.

'Nine out of ten homeowners would agree that pepper and water do not mix! I'm going to be spotty all night,' Liquidator complained, gazing down at his speckled form.

The rest of the group was coughing and sneezing as the pepper finally settled to the ground.

Gosalyn rushed into the group, her beak plugged against the dust, and threw the two alien hats into a bag before they could cause any more trouble.

'I'm sending you back where you belong, you brain-sucking parasites,' the duckling stated, tying the bag tightly.

'Oooh, my head. I dreamed that I kissed Negaduck,' Darkwing groaned, getting to his feet and looking around the tower in confusion.

'You did... well, actually he kissed you,' Megavolt tapped his chin as he struggled to remember the events that had happened only minutes before.

'WHAT?! Why would I kiss Darkwing Duck?' Negaduck raged, eyes almost red from his anger.

The Fearsome Four turned to look at the red-haired duckling, waiting for her to explain.

'Um... well, it's like this,' Gosalyn began to explain.

...the end...
Chapter End Notes:
I just had to write a scene for this episode. I was even tempted to add a little Megavolt x Darkwing in here, then switch to Negaduck x Darkwing. Ah well. Seeing Darkwing acting so feminine was laugh out loud funny.
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