Grim and Gritty Negaduck

Age: Feh! Fine wine gets BETTER with age!
Species: American Peking Duck
Gender: As male as they come, dear viewers!
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual - sorry, all my adoring male fans, but I'm strictly a ladies' duck!
Marital Status: Heh. If I found a woman who could toler - I mean, APPRECIATE me, perhaps...
With: Chaos, destruction, and those who embrace its smoldering splendor!
Occupation: Grim and gritty bringer of destruction and chaos. It's what the fans want, after all!
About

Name: Jim Starling (A has-been that the world forgot) Darkwing Duck (That hack has RUINED my name!) Negaduck (THIS is who I am, now)

Height: 4'7

Weight: 175 lbs

Eyes: Cyan and Green

Feathers: White

Likes: The spotlight, chainsaws, fame, recognition, glory, vengeance, explosions, fire, chaos and destruction in all her forms

Dislikes: Idealistic do-gooders, wannabe hacks, philistine critics, ignorant knobs who can't recognize greatness when they see it!

 

All About Me:

I know, I know; some dedicated fans went and made an article all about me for that memorial (that was nowhere near grand enough, if you ask me). But y'know what? Since you went to all the trouble to find me, I say you deserve to hear the story from my beak. I guarantee it'll leave you breathless!

What's that? Aren't I supposed to be dead?! Hah! As if an exploding electrode tower could snuff a star of my caliber! But it certainly gave that fake Darkwing Duck enough time to steal my spotlight. All those reports about him, being a "hero?" That's my fame he's riding on!

And he's not even doing a good job! I mean, come on...finding lost pets? Foiling purse snatchers? Fetching groceries for invalid old people? Really?! How does that hack expect to make it big if he starts out small?! And that pea-brained, so-called fan of mine...he went right over to his camp! So much for Leapfrog, or whatever he called himself, being a true believer!

Well, fine. Who needs him? Who needs any of those knobs?

Y'see, that whole mess with the Darkwing Duck film opened my eyes...showed me what the people really want to see these days. Set me free, y'know...like that electrode exploding was meant to happen, to release me from all the old hangups that held me back. Jim Starling? He was a has-been, a washed-up actor that was thrown away and forgotten.

And Darkwing Duck...the more I think about it, the more I see that he was holding me back, too. After all, what did all his heroics, his wholesome belief in doing what was right, count for in the end? He got cancelled, and then some hack stole his mask.

But now? Now I know who I am. Who I was always meant to be.

The smell of burning smoke fills my lungs with fire, burning away the weakness of my past. The ashes that fleck across my outfit leech away the last of this pathetic purple, leaving only the rightful chaos of yellow, red, and black. And this chainsaw in my hand...its rumbling quiver travels through me, a preview of the arsenal I'll build to carve my name across this town, and everywhere else.

I'll tear it all down - all the decadent hypocrisy, all the pretenders, all the pathetic wannabes who don't have the guts to go as far as it takes to make their mark on this crazy world of ours!

After all, they want grim and gritty. And me? I'm more than happy to give 'em what they want. So what do you think of that?

Hello?! I'm TALKING to you, here!

Oh, right. Guess it's hard to talk after what I did with the chainsaw, huh? Toldja I was playing it grim and gritty these days. Ah, well...I'll leave you in front of Police HQ, along with this recording. That'll get Darkwing Duck's attention, all right.

Time to show that hack how it's really done.

Heh. Heh heh heh heh.

Eheh ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

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    • Wolfduck/ Remus Romulus
      Wolfduck/ Remus Romulus

      "hmm...Would you like a job good sir?"

      • Gladstone Gander
        Gladstone Gander

        Gladstone’s eyebrow lifted inquisitively. Glancing at Crowley and giving a very profound answer.

        A shrug.

        “Beats me probably one of the new Wokemon, you know that game that tricks you into exercising, et tu video games? Must be a sludge type-“

        Then back to the most decidedly unwoke-ee-man.

        “And to answer your question Defective Creakachu, I wouldn’t? Because first of all-what were any of those words you just said, and second are you telling me you oozed out of a literal sewer? Yeah no hard pass on-“ he motioned to all of Negaduck’s general area. “-whatever you got going on Jigglygruff.”

        • AJ Crowley
          AJ Crowley

          At this revelation, Crowley wobbled backwards as if informed of something unfathomable and horrific like the fact your skeleton is always wet.

          Then, leaning on a dividing post, he side-whispered to the gander there,

          “What is a ‘Negaduck?”

          It sounded unpleasant, not much better than a yeast infection.

          Should they visit the pharmacist before it spreads?

          • Grim and Gritty Negaduck
            Grim and Gritty Negaduck

            Clad in yellow, cloaked in black, and crowned in red, this sinister figure went stock-still for a moment at the remarks that were tossed his way. Mistaken identities? Commentary on his odor??

            His head turned partially over one broad shoulder, eyes like ice rimmed with acid widening and narrowing at the words of those nearby. For a moment, his gaze leaped from the duck clad in black to the one in posh green. A breath hissed itself through the nostrils of his bill, was exhaled in a smoldering breath. And then...

            "Riiiiight. Germany," he drawled slowly, his voice husky and dangerous as his fingers twitched at his sides. "That's exactly it. Certainly not NEGADUCK, the Fiendish Terror of the Night." Then, as his gaze darted to the gander: "I'd like to see how YOU handle an exploding electrode and a plunge into the sewer system."

            • Gladstone Gander
              Gladstone Gander

              "Hey there, so you know what's red and yellow and smells like a sewer?" Gladstone let a moment pass before delivering his punch line. "A St. Canard Stadium hotdog, Go Swaggering Skinks! ...also you. Mostly you. Most certainly you. What I'm saying here, Ballpark Skank is that you should probably shower."

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              • Grim and Gritty Negaduck
                Grim and Gritty Negaduck posted on Grim and Gritty Negaduck's message board
                Clad in yellow, cloaked in black, and crowned in red, this sinister figure went stock-still for a moment at the remarks that were tossed his way. Mistaken identities? Commentary on his odor?? His head turned partially over one broad shoulder,...

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