Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun

It was a peaceful Saturday morning, perfect for a nice walk in the park, maybe get a little light reading in under the big oak tree.. or, it would be a peaceful morning if that dastardly damsel of distress, Mother Goose, hadn't loudly popped onto the scene and grabbed Ariana McCawber's arm.

"Ariana!" she shouted. "I can't find my poor snark anywhere! Oh~ if only I knew someone who help me find him..." she fake sobbed into her hand. Was the younger duckette buying it? She peaked between her fingers at Ariana.

    • Negaduck
      Negaduck

      Far across the city, Negaduck was indeed hiding out, but in somewhere far worse than the sewer. 

      The dilapidated headquarters of a politician. Well they had been a headquarters until the candidate in question had been run out of town for violating a half dozen crates of cream cheese, however that was another story. 

      "The Doomtrain 6000! This manical machine is just the ticket for getting my reign of evil back on track."

      Compared to the super cool photos on the ordering brochure, the car sized package before him was slightly underwhelming. And disappointedly devoid of spikes. 

      "Seems a little small for an entire train. Let's pop this thing open..."

      Perhaps it was one of those transforming models. Perhaps it was a magic mailbox! He had seen stupider concepts...

      Prying the crate open, all four sides fell down to reveal... a pile of metal sheeting and a tiny tin whistle?

      A piece of paper fluttered into his hands. 

      'Some assembly required.'

      Hopefully nobody of delicate hearing - or sensibilities - was anywhere nearby because that yell was loud

      • Mother Goose
        Mother Goose

        "Oh my," Briar said faintly as the air turned blue from the reverberations of nega-cursing. That was certainly a new use for a train whistle...

        At least Negaduck made himself easy to find.

        Though it had taken longer than strictly necessary to find the den of depravity, because Mother Goose had insisted on getting proper heist clothes first. For herself and Ariana, that meant adding cute black beanies. For Imp, it meant squeezing him into a little black sweater and domino mask.

        "Seems like Mr Personality is going to be busy threatening customer support-" the witch reported, holding onto the squirming Imp. "So we've got a clear shot~!" she beamed, looking back at Ariana. "Everyone know what to do?"

        Now would be the time to speak up, before the goose just lobbed her thieving pet into the building.

         

        • DarkwingPsycho
          DarkwingPsycho

          "Are...are you sure this is such a good idea?" Ariana asked hesitantly.  "And...if he's using his phone, how...how will we get it...?"

          • Negaduck
            Negaduck

            That question answered quickly enough by said phone being flung across the room like a speeding metaphor.

            "Fifteen minutes to send out a so-called 'assembly expert! FIFTEEN!" 

            This company knew their clientele and appreciated their supersized and often superpowered impatience, but assistance could not be instantly teleported out there. That came with the Premium Luxofury Membership Package.

            Grumbling, Negaduck sat and waited - for an entire fifteen milliseconds - before jumping back up in aggravation.

            "Forget this I'll do it myself!"

            Taking a menacing screwdriver to the unsuspecting pile of plywood, Negaduck left his phone and its clearly very rage proof casing on the floor. In his line of sight and general vicinity, but only when he wasn't preoccupied with the resulting cloud of sawdust and shouting that was sure to follow.

            • Mother Goose
              Mother Goose

              "I can't think of a more fool-proof plan," the goose said guilelessly, as Negaduck brutalized the art of carpentry. She kissed Imp on the head, instructing the creature to get that pretty, shiny phone for mommy before dropping him through the broken window.

              "See? Easy-peasy, super-stealie," Briar sang cheerfully.

              Ooh, speaking of which... "Swiper selfie!" the goose said, whipping out her own phone and pulling Ariana into frame before she could protest. Nothing like documenting your crimes. Otherwise how could you brag about them~? "Say 'Criminal'!" -CLICK-

              • DarkwingPsycho
                DarkwingPsycho

                Ariana wasn't so sure.  "Be careful!" she hissed at the familiar.  Suddenly she felt herself yanked toward Briar and she blanched.  "Cr-criminal?!"

                Once the flash had cleared from her eyes, she watched anxiously through the skylight as Imp chittered and scampered toward the device.  He promptly got distracted by a discarded bag of shinies that was opened.  Like mother like...magically-created argyle-thing?  He licked his lips and reached for a ruby, his eyes wide and greedy.

                • Negaduck
                  Negaduck

                  A few more things, screws, timber, the odd petrified shark, flew out of the cloud before it stopped.

                  "Allen key? More like allen.. flea!"

                  Yeah, that'd do. Not that anyone was listening, but it was only constant practice that kept that wit razor sharp.

                  Sharp like the temper he no doubt had, sharp like the seemingly endless array of weapons he carried, as Negaduck stomped away from the project.

                  "I'll just jury-rig something out of the old toolbox."

                  The toolbox, filled with everything from duct tape recycled from a multitude of ill fated hostages to improperly wrapped semtex, that happened to be on the other side of the bag o shinies. 

                  • Mother Goose
                    Mother Goose

                    "Yeah?" Did Ariana not like to be an accessory to felonies? Was this something she should have asked beforehand? What a social blunder! "It's ok," Mother Goose soothed her anxious friend. "It's like stealing from pirates! Double negative, totally cancels out!~"

                    Surely the police wouldn't consider this as theft!

                    -

                    It was a good thing Imp couldn't speak and deliver some brutal feedback, because that wordplay was about as sharp as the mallet that just went flying through the window by the muttering mallard. The muttering mallad who was coming closer. What to do, what to do... 

                    Obviously, it was jump into the bag of shinies- which were all his now, clearly, possession is nine-tens of the law- and look like an idol. Imp snickered quietly. This would be fun~

                    • DarkwingPsycho
                      DarkwingPsycho

                      "I...I guess..." she said faintly, watching Imp and clasping and unclasping her hands.  "Oh I hope he'll be all right."

                      She leaned forward anxiously, placing her hands on the skylight, and without warning the glass swiveled and she was pitched down into the hideout - right into a pile of old pamphlets.

                      • Negaduck
                        Negaduck

                        Negaduck had continued his path right past the imp. Great, all as planned.

                        Something, however, triggered his possessive dragon-like senses. Whether it was the sound, a stray tinkle of gold perhaps, or the smell, he paused, and was turning back to the shinies when-

                        WHUMP.

                        A witch appeared in a fluffy of filing. 

                        "Ariana Macawber?" That couldn't be right. He drew closer. "What're you doing-"

                        It could be an attack. Or a double - man they were everywhere. Or maybe an apology. About time, too.

                        • Mother Goose
                          Mother Goose

                          Imp gasped. He liked that one. He had to save her, he'd- the creature's ears drooped sadly. He'd have to sacrifice one of his new treasures. Aww...

                          The snark flicked a ring, hard, at the back of Negaduck's head to get his attention.

                          Just to be on the safe side, he also lobbed a wrench.

                          Heehee. Tag, you're it.

                          Imp dashed away, making as much noise as possible while draped in the loud, clattery jewellery. Better chase him, not look at drop-in guests.

                          • Negaduck
                            Negaduck

                            Talk about an interrupted thought process.

                            "Ow! What the- HEY."

                            Those were his shinies! 

                            Cue mad chase, just as the imp had planned. Until Negaduck spied a long cable that had come with the box of doom, that was - its true purpose like the rest of it being a total mystery - and cracked it like a whip. If it hit the target it would not hurt him but curl around like a lasso, binding the creature while Negaduck wound him in like a really irritating fish.

                            "I don't know what you are but I'm going to turn you into a paste!"

                            And sell it as exorbitantly expensive wrinkle cream perhaps?

                            • DarkwingPsycho
                              DarkwingPsycho

                              Ariana's eyes widened immediately when she popped up comically from the pamphlets, some of them catching in her blonde curls.  She gasped and was just about to scramble away when Imp threw something at the supervillain.

                              "No!" she cried, worming out of the paper pile and trying her best to get to the creature.  "Stop!  Don't hurt him...he's only here because of me!"

                              • Mother Goose
                                Mother Goose

                                "Na na na, nana na na- p'THBthhhhh!" Imp said mockingly, blowing a raspberry in Negaduck's direction. Pausing to taunt the duck mid-chase was a mistake, however, since it allowed him to land his strike with the lasso. Uh-oh. Imp twirled around, losing half his shinies in the process. Noooo! The creature clawed at the ground, searching for a purchase in the warehouse floor...   knocking over various tools of destruction, including lasers, bombs, chainsaw motors, and - for obvious reasons- a jar of mayo, a yoyo, and nine ball bearings.

                                He did manage to snag the phone with his tail, which, hey, mission success?

                                "Ari!" Mother Goose hissed, peering in from the skylight. "What are you doing! Get out of there!!" Wasn't the whole point of this operation to keep her and Negaduck apart?! Sometimes she wondered if she was the only sensible one around.

                                • Negaduck
                                  Negaduck

                                  If he squeezed it hard enough would its eyes bug out like one of those stress relieving toys?

                                  Ariana, however, interfered before any cathartic effect could be tested too thoroughly.

                                  "It is?" Hands remained around the creature's neck but his gaze was over her. "What're you talking about?"

                                  If you wanted to engage in some high level theft or deception you could've just asked. I would've been all over you. That,  I mean. That. 

                                  • DarkwingPsycho
                                    DarkwingPsycho

                                    Ariana hadn't even noticed Imp's success, her eyes instead on the cute creature's face.  "I...we..." she faltered, never having been a good liar.  "He's...a familiar...I...was looking for him because he got away, and I...didn't want my friend to worry.  I'm...sorry if he's been any trouble."

                                    She reached for Imp imploringly, her tiny hands smoothing over Negaduck's to try and coax his fingers away from its throat.

                                    • Mother Goose
                                      Mother Goose


                                      Ariiiiiiii-“ Mother Goose whined from the skylight. “What are you doing-“ Was she supposed to join her on the ground floor with Negaduck? Was that the new plan? She waved cautiously at Negaduck just to be on the safe side.

                                      Imp, meanwhile, squirmed in the mallard’s grasp, clawing at the bottom of his fist like cat disemboweling a squeaky toy. 

                                      • Negaduck
                                        Negaduck

                                        Mother Goose went ignored, largely because she wasn't heard over the sounds of the snark. Also,  partly, because with her touch Ariana had his full attention. 

                                        "Oh. I see what's going on here."

                                        The creature dropped into a glass jar, the hinged lid of which conveniently snapped shut. Nothing impenetrable, just enough to allow him to focus on his guest. 

                                        "You think that angel face can hide anything from me?"

                                        He was closing in with each accusatory step. 

                                        "Ever since we've been together I could read you like a book!"

                                        With no more room to budge, it was time to reveal the truth. 

                                        Except his tone then snapped from suspicious to suave. 

                                        "You saw me in action that night at the playground and have come to confess your realisation you threw the superior mallard into the netherworld, right?"

                                        Oh Gods. 

                                        • DarkwingPsycho
                                          DarkwingPsycho

                                          The blonde blinked when the familiar was abruptly imprisoned and Negaduck had turned toward her.  Immediately her hands recoiled, but there was a faint blush on her face as she backed up.  Whether that was due to embarrassment, anger, or delight was anyone's guess.

                                          "Wh-what...?" she breathed, managing to bump against a table behind her.  Her heart beat faster as he neared, and she was caught between a Negaduck and a hard place.  "What...are you talking about?  What do you mean...?"

                                          • Negaduck
                                            Negaduck

                                            "You saw me toss those two try-hards easier than a preschooler off a pony ride." Let's not mention seeing him attempt, yet again, to murder a small innocent child. Literally, nobody mention that.

                                            "Sure, being sucked into a temporal void of unholy terror was a mild hiccup, but it should be obvious now which side will inevitably triumph."

                                            Particularly as she wasn't the kind to foolishly try to stab him in the back, or fumble a spell so basic even a bar-school drop out could've managed it dear Gods Malicia could you have sucked any harder.

                                            That unpleasantness long behind him, a pity Ariana couldn't say the same, what with him right in front of her, pushing open her knees through her skirts.

                                            "Ready to join up?"

                                            It was clear he didn't mean purely in terms of an alliance. 

                                            • DarkwingPsycho
                                              DarkwingPsycho

                                              It took her a moment or two to follow who he was talking about, but she didn't have time to defend either 'Wing because the villain had continued with something else that grabbed her attention.  Her breath caught in her throat, and her eyes widened.  Completely red, she squirmed backward on top of the table and did her best to slam her knees shut.

                                              "No!" she squeaked, pushing him.  "I - I came for the picture!  It...it wasn't for you!"

                                              • Mother Goose
                                                Mother Goose

                                                Was Negaduck trying to... woo Ariana? That was- interesting. Briar leaned closer on the glass of the spylight, trying to get a good look, forgetting that the pane was still unbolted-

                                                "AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!"

                                                fmooh.

                                                "Oh hello Negsy-Wegsy!" Mother Goose said happily, as if falling a full story onto a masked mallard was a perfectly unremarkable experience. "Building a little model choo-choo? How cheerful! Maybe you can paint it blue and put a face on it~"

                                                The impact had knocked over Imp's prison, spilling the creature right into Ariana's lap.

                                                • Negaduck
                                                  Negaduck

                                                  It had been raining dames a lot of late, but at least this one was of the lighter variety. Still enough to knock him flat on his back though.

                                                  Clearing his much abused head, Negaduck met the drop-in with an appropriately growled greeting.

                                                  "Mother-" Goose. He was going to say Goose. No other stand-in expression for exasperation. 

                                                  Then his mind caught up to what Ariana had been trying to say, and his glare shifted past the fairy tale witch to her.

                                                  "Wait, what picture?"

                                                  Hadn't she babbled something about a familiar? She hadn't been trying to lie to the Master of Lies, had she?

                                                  • DarkwingPsycho
                                                    DarkwingPsycho

                                                    "Briar!" Ariana cried in surprise and relief when her friend rescued her from further filthy flirtation.  Then, noticing the creature in her laps, she hugged in against her tightly.  "Imp!  Did you have it still...?"

                                                    The thing grinned and dropped the cell phone into Ariana's hand.  Whether she was able to hang onto it or not was anyone's guess.

                                                    She blinked at the villain, reddening.  Clearly he hadn't seen it yet.

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