Are You Sorry We Drifted Apart...

Such a nice, peaceful night in St Canard. Perfect for sleeping after a lovely bath and sinking into your soft bedsheets after a long day of avoiding people and running from Darkwing when he ruins your evil plans... 

BOOM. CRASHCRASHCRASHBOOM. 

Something just got flung through the window of the lighthouse. 

It was. 

A teddy bear. 

Holding a heart shaped cushion that said 'I'm sorry :('. 

Then it started raining apology items. Through the window, anyway. 

A box that said 'handle with care', containing five hundred smashed lightbulbs. A half eaten box of chocolates. Five toy cars and a tank that shot lasers. Coils and coils of wires. A whole box of crude Megavolt art with 'Sorry' written over and over. A Megavolt stuffed toy. Fifty batteries, chucked all at once. A music box with a terrible rendition of Elvis Parsley's Are You Lonesome Tonight. It cracked open and there was no shutting it up. 

Quackerjack was down below, ready to load up another ten more items including a mini grand piano using a catapult. 

"He's gonna forgive me if that's the last thing I'll do!" he muttered to himself. 

    • Megavolt
      Megavolt

      When the barrage started, Megavolt had been fast asleep. The initial crashing sounds roused him and he got up, yawning and stretching, walking to the window just in time to get flattened by a box of light bulbs.

      Sitting up in a shower of wood shrapnel and fragile glass fragments, Megavolt said, "Wh-what is going o--" He flung his arms up over his head as a fresh volley of items rained down upon him. The batteries buffeted him and he had to wonder which of his enemies was behind this assault.

      Crawling through the fresh debris littering his floor as he was bombarded by confusing friendship-oriented items, he made it to the window and put up a little white flag on a stick. Waving it, he called out, "Stop! I surrender!"

      • Quackerjack
        Quackerjack

        Quackerjack was in the process of winding up the catapult with another gift when he heard Megavolt. 

        "Wait, really? But I still have more gifts for you!" he whined. 

        • Megavolt
          Megavolt

          "Gifts?"

          Megavolt cautiously peeked up over the sill of the window, just in case he needed to duck to safety again. He was festooned with unreeled wire. Then he looked around to assess the nature of the missiles that had been lobbed into his home, and some of them did have a certain gift-like quality to them.

          He poked his head out of the window and repeated, "Gifts? I thought I was under attack!" Megavolt lowered the white flag and glared accusingly at Quackerjack. "Why were you attacking me with gifts!" The electrokinetic mutant waved the screw end of a light bulb in the air, the glass having shattered away. The filament wobbled sadly.

          • Quackerjack
            Quackerjack

            "So we can become friends again, Sparky!" Quackerjack grinned. Then it changed into a sad frown upon seeing the broken light bulb. "Did you break that? I thought you were gentle with your babies, Megsy!" 

            • Megavolt
              Megavolt

              "What? No! Of course I didn't break this, a big box of them came sailing in through the window and--wait, what?"

              Setting aside the sad light bulb remains, Megavolt rested his hands on the sill and leaned out, giving the jester a suspicious look.

              "What gives, last time I saw you, you tried to kill me!" He looked around at the debris, and waved his arms in the air as he shouted, "You're still trying to kill me!"

              • Quackerjack
                Quackerjack

                "Kill you??" Quackerjack repeated, looking indignant. "I wasn't killing you! Well, not this time, anyway. I was smothering you with gifts! They're not the same thing!" 

                This wasn't how it was supposed to go! Megavolt should be crying and racing down to tell Quackerjack he was forgiven! What else did he want? 

                Fortunately, the jester had one last trick up his sleeve. Literally up his sleeve. A ukulele. No, he did not know how to play it aside from that one beginner's lesson, but his voice would be enough. 

                And boy, what a voice that was. 

                ""EveRyBoDY neEds a LIttLe tiMe aWAy,"
                i hEArD Her sAy,
                "FRom eaCh OTHer."
                EVEN beSt frIEnDs neED a hOLIdAy
                FAr aWay
                from eaCH OTHer" 

                "hoLd ME noW
                It'S hArd FOr ME to SAy I'M sorrY
                I JuSt wAnt yOu to sTay wITH mE
                aND AftER aLL tHat yOU'vE bEEN thROuGh
                i wILL maKe iT UP to yOu
                I prOmIsE yOu, SpARky..." 

                • Megavolt
                  Megavolt

                  Somehow, this was not proving to Megavolt that he was not still under attack. He clapped his hands over his ears and grimaced, shoulders hunching up as his head tried to retreat turtle-like into his torso in order to escape that sonic assault.

                  Seagulls that had been roosting and fast asleep nearby awoke and fearfully flew up into the air, screeching cries added to the cacophony, and because they were not nocturnal birds they clonked into each other as well as into the walls of the lighthouse.

                  As stunned sea birds splashed down into the water and plopped onto the ground around Quackerjack's feet, Megavolt waved his white flag again. "Okay! Okay! I forgive you! Just, please, stop with the singing, already!"

                  • Quackerjack
                    Quackerjack

                    Quackerjack was so happy he didn't bother to continue singing. "Yay!! I knew you would do it! We're friends after all! This calls for a celebration!!" 

                    He dropped the ukulele and ran upstairs to grab Megavolt and bring him down. Crime spree time, wheeee!! 

                    • Megavolt
                      Megavolt

                      "Wait wait wait!" Megavolt exclaimed as he got bodily hauled away. "It's past my bedtime! It's the middle of the night!" Case in point, he was wearing a night shirt and slippers. He still had those goggles and the two-pronged helmet on, though.

                      "I haven't even had a chance to recharge! Ugh." Elmo let his arms wilt in defeat. "All right, what are we doin' first? Paying a visit to All-Nite Battery Mart? Because I was going to do that in the morning, anyway."

                      • Quackerjack
                        Quackerjack

                        Quackerjack rolled his eyes. "Sleep is boooooring! You gotta be more active in your life, Megsy! Coffee?" 

                        If the villain liked chocolate, lollipop and colourful paper confetti brewed coffee, that is. 

                        Then he started grumbling when Megavolt told him he needed to make a stop at an electrical store. But he relented. Because he would not be any good not charged up. 

                        "Fine. But only because we're friends," he said with a pout. "But hurry up. I have lots of fun games planned!!" 

                        • Megavolt
                          Megavolt

                          As it so happened, Megavolt was not a fan of fancy flavored coffee, at least not of those flavors, but he was worried about making an objection at this point. What if Quackerjack started singing again?

                          Getting to stock up on batteries cheered Megavolt up enough that he barely cared he was wearing pajamas. The clerks at the store were in no position to make comments about it anyhow, seeing as they had been bound up with extension cords.

                          Dropping several more D cell batteries into a sack, Megavolt said, "You were right, Quacky, this is pretty fun. Ooh, nice 6 volt," he said, grabbing a big lantern battery and holding it against his cheek with affection.

                          • Quackerjack
                            Quackerjack

                            Quackerjack rolled his eyes at Megavolt's affectionate gestures. Which would have been understandable if he wasn't a grown man playing with a stuffed banana puppet. 

                            "Can we go now?" he asked. Even though they were barely in the store for five minutes. "This is so boring!" 

                            But he had a reason. He had better, fun plans in store for them both. It will be a re-friendship party and a chance to wreck the city! 

                            • Megavolt
                              Megavolt

                              "But Quacky, we just got here," Megavolt whined, clutching the 6v battery to his chest. He quickly put it into the sack, just in case he got dragged off again. "I didn't even get to look at the car batteries, yet, and they have a whole wall full of those!" He pointed across the store, and started to head that way eagerly.

                              "There's just so much to see, here! It's like being a kid in a candy store! If you're a kid who likes candy."

                              • Quackerjack
                                Quackerjack

                                Quackerjack facepalmed. "Fine, but you better hurry up! Sheesh, I don't remember you being this boring, Sparky. I work so hard to get fun stuff for the both of us to play, and you just wanna talk to your weird batteries!" 

                                • Megavolt
                                  Megavolt

                                  "It's not boring! And stop calling me Sparky!" Megavolt turned to shout and shake a fist at Quackerjack, but then he continued to the display of big brick-like batteries. "Ooh." Immediately brightening up, he ran a hand over a few of the batteries and then selected one that essentially looked like all the others, but presumably was better than the rest.

                                  Hauling it under his arm, Megavolt said, "Okay, okay. We can go, now. I dunno what you have planned that could be more fun than this, though."

                                  • Quackerjack
                                    Quackerjack

                                    "Oh, you'll see~" Quackerjack gave Megavolt a sly grin and beckoned for him to follow him. He then revealed two sets of giant water blasters in the boot of his car where he parked it. 

                                    Well. It wasn't really his car but if heroes could steal cars, why couldn't he? 

                                    "We're gonna have a paint war! Just you and me!" Quackerjack grinned happily. "I made these myself; they store infinite amounts of paint!" 

                                    "And here, use this! It's waterproof," he held out some sort of raincoat material that would cover Megavolt head to toe. And it was in his usual costume colours too! But what was more surprising was that Quackerjack actually cared! Whaaaat. 

                                    "You're it!!" he grinned, shooting Megavolt as soon as he put it on and ran away laughing. The splatter was so big that there was a Megavolt-shaped dry spot where he was standing. Everything else was orange-ed. 

                                    • Megavolt
                                      Megavolt

                                      "A paint war?" Megavolt sounded very uncertain about that idea. He was doubly uncertain about the slicker-style outfit, but had to admit it was better than running around in pajamas all night.

                                      "Okay, but now wh--" For some reason, Megavolt had not realized that Quackerjack had intended to shoot him with paint. He cringed and screamed, one leg raised, and brought his arms up over his face in a protective gesture as what seemed like a big bucket full of paint was shot straight at him. He was a lot more surprised when he did not instantly short out after getting deluged.

                                      "Oh." Looking at his orange-dripping limbs, then back at the wall which showed his cowering silhouette in negative space, Megavolt shrugged. He picked up his paint gun and ran after Quackerjack, leaving a bunch of orange footprints in his wake.

                                      • Quackerjack
                                        Quackerjack

                                        That night was going to be absolute chaos. The town was going to be painted rainbow as Quackerjack and Megavolt chased each other, dodged and ran as they fired paint at each other. 

                                        However, as paint started to flood the town, the two merry villains had no idea what they'd just done. 

                                        Something started coming alive in the paint. A heart started beating once more. 

                                        • Megavolt
                                          Megavolt

                                          Vivid puddles of paint coalesced, marbling and mixing. It began to ripple as if someone had thrown a handful of pebbles into a pond. Feminine figures formed and rose up from the liquid like a series of Venus Anadyomenes, although the vivid and unique color palette on each one gave the impression of a silk-screened Warhol polyptych. The figures drew together and merged, their multicolored mayhem mingling and becoming more monochromatic.

                                          "Aah!" Splatter Phoenix looked at her own re-formed hands, then around at the Pollock-esque pavement all around her feet. "Where...? How...?" She patted herself down. "It's really me! A memento mori still life, no more!" Tapping her beak with one finger, she mused aloud, "I wonder how many of my paintings sold while I was dead, and whether I can get my hands on that money?" She dashed off with a gleeful laugh.



                                          Much further away, Megavolt was finding it difficult to move. "I think I'm drying out too much," he complained, trying to bend one of his arms, which had doubled in thickness due to the many layers of paint that now coated it like a malformed gobstopper. A chunk of it broke off.

                                          "Did you bring a chisel?" he asked Quackerjack, and immediately had second thoughts. Quackerjack with a chisel was a thought that did not please. "Uh, actually, you know what? Never mind. I'm good."

                                          • Quackerjack
                                            Quackerjack

                                            Too late, Megsy. Way too late. 

                                            "Sureee I did! Don't need to be self conscious!" Quackerjack grinned, moving his paint blaster behind his back, and then pulling out a gigantic electric-powered chisel. 

                                            "Now hold still and I'll get that messy gunk off ya~" he grinned as he closed in on Megavolt. 

                                            • Megavolt
                                              Megavolt

                                              Megavolt put up his hands and took a few steps backwards, looking increasingly fearful. Trust was an important element in friendship, to be certain, but Megavolt was certain he did not trust Quackerjack with power tools. Not when they were pointed his way, at least.

                                              "Wait a sec," he said, scratching his head, or at least, scratching his paint-spattered helmet. "What am I worried about?" Megavolt pointed at the chisel and a spark of electricity jumped from his finger to the tool, which thrummed as it became quasi-alive and squirmed around trying to free itself from Quackerjack's grasp.

                                              • Quackerjack
                                                Quackerjack

                                                "Aww, come on!" Quackerjack grumbled, trying to wrestle with the power tool. Apparently he did not notice what Megavolt had done to it. "I didn't remember you being a toy- oops." 

                                                He accidentally let go of the chisel and it jumped around merrily, creating giant dents in the ground. Yay, freedom! 

                                                Straight down the street and into an art gallery. 

                                                A minute later, it started to crumble and fall apart. 

                                                • Megavolt
                                                  Megavolt

                                                  "Whoah!" Megavolt cringed away for a moment, arms raised to fend off the chisel in case it decided to turn on him. When it bounced off to destroy a gallery instead, he relaxed and pointed after it. "Ha, a natural critic."



                                                  Since it was night, the art gallery was closed. That did not mean it was empty, however. Splatter Phoenix was lurking around inside, getting irritated because this was the third gallery she had visited that had missed out on the opportunity to feature her or her artwork during her 'downtime'.

                                                  "Uncultured bourgeois," she muttered, scowling at a display of paintings in the neo-post-post-modern-retro-futurism style. "Why can no one recognize--what's that noise?" She let out a scream when the building started to fall down around her.

                                                  As the gallery walls folded in on themselves, a figure emerged before the building went completely flat. Covered in dust, Splatter coughed and staggered on the sidewalk.



                                                  "Uh oh," said Megavolt, upon seeing the emerging artist. "Yikes. Sorry, lady!" He pointed at Quackerjack. "His automatic chisel went completely out of control."

                                                  • Quackerjack
                                                    Quackerjack

                                                    "SPARKY. I thought we were friends!" Quackerjack wailed. 

                                                    Then, planting his hands on his hips, he turned to the artist lady and pointed at Megavolt. "He said your art was stupid!" 

                                                    He did imply it, in a way. 

                                                    • Megavolt
                                                      Megavolt

                                                      "What? I did not! That doesn't make any sense, I haven't even seen her art." It was Megavolt's turn to put his hands on his hips when he looked to Quackerjack, clearly offended at the implication that he had engaged in a non-constructive artistic critique. After a little more thought, he brought his paint gun and said, "And, I told you to stop calling me that!" He shot a blast of orange paint at Quackerjack's face.

                                                      Splatter Phoenix, whose clothing was looking more of a muted grey than black due to plaster dust, just stared at the two super villains. Her gaze dropped to the paint guns, then swept around to take in the massive blobs and spatters of color on absolutely everything in the area. Finally, her hands clenched into fists and she exclaimed, "What are you two idiots doing? Don't you know who I am?"