RP: Pulling the power plug

**Rated PG-13 for orifice-inhabited ancient artifacts.** 

Reserved for: Malicia, Darkwing, Quiverwing, Negaduck


After Negaduck and Malicia rob a museum filled with all-power magical tchotchkes, our devastatingly beautiful bombshell finds herself possessed by one of these trinkets. 

Meanwhile, the handsome Darkwing Duck is dealing with some major malfunctions on his super-computer and has enlisted the help of all-around ok guy Quiverwing Duck for tech support. This leads them straight to Mal's warehouse where they confront the foul-smelling Negaduck!

A hot and heavy showdown ensues between the three mallards: testosterone runs rampant, sweaty bodies intermingle, and Quiverwing reflects on his current life-decisions as the third-wheel spoon. Our beautiful heroine and soon-to-be-future-Queen of the world uses this opportunity to slip away and begin her reign of terror, unaware that her beloved masked admirer is not too far behind. Also, Negaduck and Quiverwing make out.

Will Darkwing Duck save his delicate and absolutely-not-disloyal kinda-sorta-but-not-quite girlfriend? Will Negaduck stop spreading herpes? And when will the incessant puns ever end? Stay tuned to find out!

(This plot summary brought to you by the Malicia Macawber Fanfic Initiative. Minor details may diverge slightly from true events). 

    • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
      Queen Malicia of St. Canard


      This is what they mean when they say 'absolute power corrupts absolutely'. 

      Shoes. Raining from the sky. Piled atop awnings and skewering any unfortunate soul who dared venture outside the safety of St. Canard's hopefully flame-retardant architecture. 

      At the epicenter of this fruitful foot-fullfilling fashionry was the Queen of Stilletos herself. The eerie green glow that once graced her facial features has spread to encompass her shapely form. Her laughter was deep and haunting as she spun and danced among the enchanted shoenado. 

      But this was small potatoes stuff. Now it was time for a more... lucrative endeavor. 

      How fortunate that St. Canard Fifth National Bank was well within her reach. It was after-hours and as such, the darkened street saw no hordes of screaming, fleeing citizens. A pity, she would have reveled in their cries for mercy. 

      The roof was peeled back like a can of sardines, a seemingly pointless gesture given she had phased straight through the wall and inside the bank vault. But where's the fun in subtlety? 

      My, my, my... look at these lovely gold ingots. Who uses these things anyway? Truly, what a waste to see them locked inside a vault forever. Fortunately, Malicia could give them a wonderful new home. 

      With it came the gold coins, the jewelry, and the wads of cash. No loot sacks necessary, the pilfered prizes hovered through the open roof to join the shoes in their whirlwind dance. 

      Sirens in the distance indicated a silent alarm was triggered. Malicia smiled darkly. Time to test out her new-found powers on something more challenging than St. Canard's infrastructure... 

      • Darkwing Duck
        Darkwing Duck

        "Oh great," Darkwing muttered as he moved down the sidewalk.  "And me without my umbrella."  He had to vigilantly knock away the literal shoe shower to keep himself from getting brained by a four-inch heel.  At least he knew he was getting close to where Malicia almost certainly was.  The shoes were all her size, anyway.

        That was when he noticed something else that joined the shoes.  Well, not so much noticed as being conked between the eyes.  "Ow!" he growled, rubbing his head, then he looked down at what had hit him.  "Gold?"  It was a solid gold coin.  Soon followed by a diamond necklace, ruby slippers, a cow - wait.

        "This weird weather could only be the work of one wonderfully wiley witch!" he announced to no one.  The wind picked up as he neared the bank, where the eye of the storm seemed to be.  He pinned his fedora to his head with one hand and shouted, "Malicia, my sweet!  What's gotten into you?  Can't you see that this is wrong?  What has Negaduck done to you?!"

        • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
          Queen Malicia of St. Canard

          "Hmmmm?" She almost didn't register his voice. She spun around to face him, her mouth spreading into a wide, fanged smile.

          "Darkwing, you may be handsome but you are so adorably naive. For once in his depraved life, Negaduck did something right." A sweeping gesture at her luminous figure as she moved closer to the crimefighter. 

          "I have been blessed with the power of the Ancient Ones. I can feel them coursing through me, whispering in long-forgotten tongues. With them by my side, I will take everything I desire, everything I deserve.

          A convenient time for the ice cream shoppe next door to explode outwards, allowing the demonness to catch a fully-stacked cone in her free hand. 

          "Besides, this could be our best date night yet. Cone?" She held out the chilled peace offering.

          • Darkwing Duck
            Darkwing Duck

            "But - how??" he questioned, dumbfounded.  "How is this happening?  And...and is that triple mint ripple?"  He started to reach for it, then had to shake himself out of it.

            "No!  This is no time for dairy delights, it's time for Darkwing Duck!  And I'm afraid, Mal darling, that I'm going to have to ask you to cease and desist!  Can't you see all of the havoc you're wreaking on my beautiful city??"

            • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
              Queen Malicia of St. Canard

              "Your beautiful city?" She pouted. "Don't you mean our beautiful city?"

              She leaned forward, allowing that ample cleavage of hers to meet him at eye-level. Reaching out, she ran one clawed finger across the bottom of his jaw. 

              "Just think, my daring, handsome duck." She purred. "How much we could accomplish together. This city doesn't respect you. They don't appreciate you like -I- do. I could help them realize what they're missing out on, you know...

              She pressed her body against his and whispered in his ear. "...and all you have to do is look the other way. Just this once."

              • Darkwing Duck
                Darkwing Duck

                He hesitated at the pout, and even more at the distraction of her bosom.  Hey, he was a hot-blooded mallard, not made of granite.  The caress of her finger nearly pulled him off of his feet, and he couldn't help but look back at her through half-lidded eyes.

                She wasn't wrong...the lack of respect, appreciation...and he and Malicia could make a pretty good team...

                He had started to reach around her to embrace her, but his sense of lawfulness pulled back his hands to her shoulders instead.  "I wish I could, dearest, but...the law is the law, and I'm afraid right now you're on the wrong side of it.  Now pretty please put everything back and we can have some 'alone time' in the Tower..."

                • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                  Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                  "Hmm... you do make a pretty convincing point." She tapped her bill thoughtfully.

                  "But no."

                  She rose upwards, arms outstretched, quickly becoming the eye of the gold/shoe/ice-cream tornado. If Darkwing wasn't careful, he too would find himself pulled into the bedazzled cyclone where he would be added to her list of pilfered prizes. 

                  Laughing maniacally (as is tradition) she raised her arms to the sky. The concrete-covered earth ruptured in two, tossing parked cars onto their sides and toppling street lamps. Store windows shattered in tandem, sending glass shards through the air. A nearby hotdog stand burst into flames.

                  Somehow, perhaps unsurprisingly, the residents of the neighbourhood continued to slumber. Supervillain takeovers happen like, twice a week, and we still gotta be up for work in the morning, okay? 


                  • Darkwing Duck
                    Darkwing Duck

                    Darkwing looked at her with relief.  "Good...now we can...NO?"  He blinked.

                    He grabbed onto his fedora, trying to keep his footing as the cyclone returned.  "Okay, drastic times call for drastic action!"  Out came his trademark gas gun, and he aimed it heroically toward Malicia.  "I'm quelling this chaos quickly whether you're keen on it or not!"

                    Whatever Negaduck had done, he was certain Malicia was not herself, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it one way or another.  First thing was first, though.  He had to contain her or the city wouldn't stand.

                    He fired, hoping to grapple her, but instead it caught around the random cow that had gotten swept up in her fury.

                    "Oh boy..." he sighed, then suddenly found himself yanked off of his feet and swirling in the madness around her.

                    • Morgana Macawber
                      Morgana Macawber

                      Meanwhile, back at the warehouse...


                      Morgana regarded the unconscious entanglement at her feet with a mixture of resignation and pity. Why was Malicia's home always ground-zero for ambiguity and bizarre connotations? Judging by the crumbling walls and splintered bookcases however, it was clear that a Darkwing-doppelganger ruckus had taken place earlier. 

                      She leaned over to gently stir the archer from his post-battle dormancy. 

                      "Quiverwing..." She spoke smoothly. "Wake up." 

                      No response. Very well, then...

                      She cracked her knuckles and steadied herself. 


                      Lightning struck both bodies, pumping them with more electricity than Megavolt could muster. 

                      "WAKE UP!"

                      • Quiverwing Duck
                        Quiverwing Duck

                        In a blink, Quiverwing went from about half dead and fully unconscious to wide awake but also coruscating with tendrils of electricity, his body jerking upwards violently enough to dislodge Negaduck from his slump over the archer's back. Every feather on the masked mallard's body stood on end for a moment, and he still looked ruffled once he landed on the floor again, sitting there rubbing his head and looking confused.

                        "Oh... hello, Morgana." Quiverwing gave the sorceress a slow grin, his voice rather smooth, especially for someone who had just been electrocuted. There was a rough edge there from his recent throttling, though. "Please excuse my appearance. We were killing each other." He stood up a little unsteadily, running his hands back through his headfeathers to at least get them back into their usual rakish disarray.

                        As he straightened his tunic and started to close  it up at the front by tightening the laces, he glanced down at his broken bow, glared at it, and then turned his glare towards Negaduck.

                        • Negaduck

                          "You were trying to kill both of us you knob!"

                          Apparently the K word was the kue to snap Negaduck out of his grenade and electrocution concussion cocktail and take a swipe at the remaining hero with the broken shard of his own bow. 

                          "Why won't you learn just to roll over and take it?"

                          How dare you resist my attempts to end you. Really, no respect these days. 

                          • Morgana Macawber
                            Morgana Macawber

                            "Alright, that's enough you two! The throttling can continue at a later date, we all have bigger problems. Namely..." 

                            She glanced between the two. "How on Earth did Malicia gain ancient unfathomable power? There are few magical antiquities that match the criteria based on her clinical presentation, namely the green glow."

                            She paced back and forth, ignoring any further mallard mauling that may be occurring in her periphery.

                            "I was able to narrow the cause down to two prime candidates. The first is an emerald ring which has been lost to time and space for almost a century. The second item..."

                            She stopped and stared directly at Negaduck.

                            C'mon Negs there is no way you are not somehow responsible for the second option. 

                            She narrowed her eyes. "I didn't see a ring on her finger." 

                            • Quiverwing Duck
                              Quiverwing Duck

                              Roll over and take it? "Why, Negsy," Quiverwing said, with a saccharine lilt. "You know I'm not that easy. At least offer me dinner first, geez." He ducked back to get out of the way of the swipe.

                              After Morgana made mention of the ring, or lack thereof, Quiverwing lightly cleared his throat. He'd been giving it some thought as well, and once one took into consideration the artifacts that had been at that museum, and ruled out ones that would be visible, there were very few options left. He folded his hands together almost primly and said, "It's probably not a ring. It's..." Okay. Wow. How do you even say this to someone, especially someone like Morgana.

                              "...think lower."

                              • Negaduck

                                A ring probably was involved, but not of the emerald variety.

                                "Don't be so condescending," The limb hurled away in disgust, largely at Quiverwing's failure to accept a clobbering. "Morg knows it doesn't get any lower than me."

                                Turning to leave, because why wouldn't he?

                                "But whatever. I think it's an improvement."

                                Enjoy your city clean up, losers.


                                • Quiverwing Duck
                                  Quiverwing Duck

                                  "Tut, tut." Quiverwing waggled a finger and reached out to grab at the singed, tattered remnants of Negaduck's cape. "You're going to help unearth that artifact, Chuckles. There is no way I'm going to excavate it myself. Don't you know you're supposed to pick up your toys after you're done playing?"

                                  Cheerfully, the archer said, "Anyway, you were so interested in that silly cassette tape, earlier. You want that back, don't you?" he retreated a few paces and clasped his hands together. "I mean, if you don't, I'll find some other use for it." He shrugged, indifferently.

                                  • Negaduck

                                    A flail at that unwelcome tug that would've morphed into another attempted clobbering if not for the last part.

                                    What, was this dump cursed? Why wouldn't it let him leave?! Was this what hell was, trapped forever in an overdone warehouse to endure the sniping of an unkillable kook in tights?

                                    And he'd had such high hopes for the place too. 

                                    "You're trying to blackmail me with my own blackmail material?!"

                                    The nerve of this guy!

                                    "You're so worried about getting your dainty hands dirty, get Darkwing to do it!" A sidelong glance at Morgana. "Or is this one just uncomfortable with her boyfriend excavating unfamiliar crevasses?"

                                    Oh he knew. Didn't mean he couldn't twist that knife a bit further. 

                                    • Morgana Macawber
                                      Morgana Macawber

                                      That was how Negaduck became engaged in part two of the Electric Boogalo via an itchy spell-finger. 

                                      "You will be retrieving that item." Plumes of smoke still rising from her index finger as she loomed over the singed heap of sentient trash. "Because the... object... in question comes with a crevacial caveat: The 'inserter' is the only one who can remove it. So unless you want Malicia as your almighty and powerful Queen of the Universe, I suggest you put these on your hands."

                                      Two small, foil-wrapped packages were tossed carelessly at Negaduck's face.

                                      "I realize you've never seen one of these in your depraved life but do humor us."

                                      • Negaduck

                                        To that came a witty retort.. in the form of a smoky wheeze before tumbling forward onto his extra blackened face. 

                                        "Think I preferred the web," Negalump grumbled into the floorboards. 


                                        Not long later, a red, yellow and black blur was hurtling down the streets of St Canard at speeds even Quiverwing might have found reckless. Largely to avoid any possibility of being photographed, because some some things were more embarrassing than an upskirt. 

                                        "Right, Fabio," yelled over the roar of the engine and wind to the passenger who was under very strict No Touching instructions. "You get in there and distract her, and I'll take her from behind."

                                        Hand off the steering to produce one of those extendy.. toy grabby.. thingies.

                                        "With this."

                                        Sure, good plan. And off to the arcade later with a bag of quarters. Hey, those soft toy prizes won't immolate themselves. 

                                        • Quiverwing Duck
                                          Quiverwing Duck

                                          The instructions were largely redundant, since Quiverwing was not inclined to touch Negaduck unless it was absolutely required, such as by punching him. The thought of that cheered him up slightly, as he had been disgruntled when he lost his hat a few miles back.

                                          Frowning, he was going to object about having to distract someone who was under the influence of a potent magical artifact, since he no longer had an intact weapon. He could have gotten her attention with some non-lethal projectiles. "This would'a been easier if you hadn't broken my bow." Jackass. "But I'll figure something out."

                                          • Negaduck

                                            Wow, Quiverwing. Expecting him to do anything other than delight in being a giant pain in the butt. 

                                            The closer they came to the centre of the chaos, the more shoe-ducking and creative manoeuvring was involved, but still Negaduck found the time to offer one helpful suggestion,

                                            "Perhaps you can show her your shattered femurs?"

                                            Leaving enough of a pause for his counterpart to question this description before locking the rear and slamming it into a turn, the intent being to flick the hero faaar away like an especially annoying booga.

                                            The crook watched the speck fly towards the eye of the storm with a grin. Oh he'd break so much more than a bow.

                                            • Quiverwing Duck
                                              Quiverwing Duck


                                              Quiverwing flew through the air with a fair bit of momentum. That was a less than ideal situation. Of course, it was possible that if he slammed into Malicia bodily, that might distract her for a moment, but probably not long enough. Also it would likely kill him. He would prefer to avoid that fate.

                                              Without his bow, he could not easily launch a grappling line, but he could still throw stuff. He gripped and held out his cape for a moment to get his tumbling under control, and then threw a grappling arrow like a dart. He did not need perfect accuracy, it just needed to be close to hit the bit of a streetlamp that arched out over the street. He let the line play through his gloves to brake his momentum a bit, and then he had to put up with getting vertically swung up and over several times as the rope wound itself.

                                              After landing a little unsteadily on top of the streetlamp, he shook his head to clear it and then shook his fist at the distant Negaduck. Shouting would be useless. He also pointed Negaduck's way a few times, then drew his finger across his throat in the "I plan to murder you later" pantomime, and pointed at Negaduck again.

                                              Anyway, enough of that. He had to figure out how to get the attention of a Malicia.

                                              With an air of grim determination, he rolled up his short sleeves a bit to bare more of his arms, tidied his hair feathers so they were only slightly but raffishly disheveled, and then grabbed the front of his tunic. He gave it a quick, hard pull, popping the tied laces from their eyelets and suddenly opening the neckline all the way down to the bottom of his sternum as if he were going to expose a superhero logo; instead, he revealed some bare (albeit feathered) chest.

                                              After clearing his throat, he called out, "Oh, Malicia! I see you're quite busy at the moment, dear lady, but I thought we could have a word or two?"

                                              • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                                Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                                Like the mighty and noble velociraptor in a well-made classic film, Mal's head snapped to attention at the very first 'pop' of that shirt. Something sexy is happening

                                                She zeroed in on the target. A gentle tornado-centric breeze ruffled the feathers on Quiverwing's chest in a manner that made the edges of her bill twitch. Somewhere in the distance a flamenco guitar played a tune. 

                                                The whirlwind died off, which was quickly followed up by the orchestrated sound of thousands of gold coins clinking against the pavement accompanied by the bass 'thump' of shoes. And a Darkwing.

                                                "Quiverwing, a pleasure to see you." She hovered in front of him. "No doubt you've been aching to hear more about me after our intimate chat." Her luminous hand weaved through the tuft of feathers. So soft, like a newborn kitten. Or that quality 3-ply toilet paper.

                                                • Quiverwing Duck
                                                  Quiverwing Duck

                                                  This was where all that practice in front of a mirror with an industrial fan really paid off. Quiverwing was able to take advantage of the buffeting wind for its dramatic effects on his cape and feathers, and not simply get blown off of his perch.

                                                  As the ma(e)lstrom ceased and Malicia floated up to him, Quiverwing put his fists on his hips and said, "It's certainly my pleasure to see you." No longer having to shout, his voice sank into a smooth purr. "I would say that 'aching' is an apropos word. And, might I add, you look absolutely radiant." With green light. An honest statement.

                                                  Once she reached out to touch him, Quiverwing returned the favor, although his hand brushed over Malicia's cheek and slipped through her hair to cup the back of her head. With his eyelids dropping low, he growled at her as he leaned in so that their bills were on the verge of touching. "There is only one thing that would gratify me more than hearing all about your life and your thoughts, my dear. Please... allow me to demonstrate." With that, he pressed a slowly deepening, smouldering kiss to Malicia's lips, his growl subsiding to a barely audible rumble in his throat.

                                                  As he brought on his best attempt at beguiling Malicia, he could only hope that Negaduck would get into position and play his part quickly. Then he had to wonder why he would ever trust that reprobate to do anything other than abandon a dangerous situation. That guy was probably halfway to Duckburg by now.

                                                  • Darkwing Duck
                                                    Darkwing Duck

                                                    The kiss lasted for barely a second before two hands curled around their foreheads and forcefully separated them.

                                                    "HEY!!" Darkwing snapped, steam practically coming out of his ears.  "That's my girl, and my kiss!"  Instead of turning on Malicia to further try and stop her rampage, he fixed all of his attention on his doppelganger.  "I have everything under control here, so butt out!"  He shoved Quiverwing hard.

                                                    • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                                      Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                                      Now that was a kiss. She wouldn't say it aloud but Darkwing --and Negs-- could not compete with that level of lip-locking. A flame erupted from the tip of her tail as she nearly melted into his touch.

                                                      Until Darkwing intervened all too quickly.

                                                      "I don't think you're in a position to be making demands." She rounded on Darkwing, a deep snarl rising in the back of her throat.  "Or did you forget that you've decided to turn on me like everyone else?!"

                                                      Trying to save the city is one thing, but I draw the line at duck-blocking!