RP: Bust-ed

This blog is rated M for horrible, horrible things. I.e., Negaduck. 

Reserved for: Negs and Mal, the terrible two. 

Sunset in St. Canard. A beautiful sliver of time, when the metropolis is bathed in warm oranges and purples. One might even describe it as 'romantic', especially when returning from yet another tryst with their sort-of-secret caped lover.

Mal was floating on Cloud 9. Also literally floating as she glided through the front door of the warehouse, sighing happily to herself.

It had been a good day. Plus she had made some good sales, and with a bit of extra money in her pocket! Surely, nothing could spoil this moment of pure contentment...  

    • Negaduck
      Negaduck

      "Well," declared a voice that would have sent chills down any ordinary spine on a bright sunny day, much less in the darkness of one's own home. "Haven't you been having fun."

      Leaning against the hallway wall, like he regularly loitered in people's entrance ways, like he knew way too much, was Negaduck.

      And the only way to describe his expression was.. dark. Or should that have been with a capital D?

      • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
        Queen Malicia of St. Canard

        Aaaaaand day spoiled.

        "Oh yes, it's been a roller coaster of excitement." She responded dryly, before spinning around to regard him with a level of contempt he was surely used to by this point.

        Though, admittedly, she had no idea what he was referring to. Because surely he hadn't the time nor patience to keep tabs on her.

        ...Right??

        "How kind of you to grace me with your presence. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

        • Negaduck
          Negaduck

          Maybe not on her.

          "Oh I was in the neighbourhood, tailing one Darkwing Duck in fact, hoping to deliver a thank you gift of anvil-to-the-face for his continued interference. Instead, I find him in the middle of something much more painful: a date, with a familiar demonic red-head."

          Closing in, pushing past a hall table to allow her breakables to drop, just as the penny did.

          "The same red-head who had furnished me with a weapon that, somehow, couldn't finish off that cursed crimefighter even when I had him dead in my sights."

          Dead being the operative word - or it should have been.

          "Any chance those two things are connected?"

          The same way, say, a club could connect with a torso?  

          • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
            Queen Malicia of St. Canard

            Every step he took forward was a step she took backward. That was, until her back was pressed against the wall, with one low-boiling Negaduck moving closer.

            "Not a chance." She snapped defensively. "I don't know what you're implying, but I can assure you my weapons work perfectly fine. It's not MY fault you don't know how to aim properly!" 

            Let's just completely side-step the first half of your keen observation, mainly the whole 'dating' thing, shall we? 

            • Negaduck
              Negaduck

              "You've obviously been spending too much time around him if you mistake me for that much a fool!" Snarled, full wolf mode, his pupils consumed by fury. "How could you think I wouldn't notice a blast deflect in the totally opposite direction, not once, but twice?!"

              Wrangling his anger enough to step back from pinning her, not that it was any gesture of safety.

              "I would have had him. I would have had this city. If not for you."

              So any guesses as to the anvil-to-the-face was really owed to...

              • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                Oh dear, this wasn't good. Clearly it was time to defuse the situation.

                "...If your entire plan hinges on a single weapon aiming properly." She said slowly. "It was probably not a smart plan to begin with. A real mastermind would have a plan B to get the job done properly, without making excuses."

                Oh, did I say defuse? I meant throw magma on the fire-cracker-laden mountain that was Negaduck's non-existent patience. 

                • Negaduck
                  Negaduck

                  Plan B in this case stood for Bookshelf, which got lifted out of nowhere and thrown bodily against where she was standing. How was that for aim?

                  "You're a WEAPONS DEALER. What kind of dealer trades in weapons that WON'T WORK against their intended targets?! Oh, I know, the kind that's dating the city's most infuriating hero!"  

                  Didn't think that one was going to slide, did you.

                  "But I'm sure Darkwing really appreciates the favour. Except, I'm guessing, he doesn't know about your kind gesture! Well, how about I go remedy that!"

                  Spinning on his heel to make for the door. Not foolhardy enough, of course, to assume he could stick a fire cracker under her without reprisals. 

                  • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                    Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                    TACKLE-ROLL-CRASH. 

                    In what may have been the fastest movement in Mal's career, she ran-tackle-jumped directly on top of him, sending both of them hurdling into another wall like one very deranged tumbleweed of rage.

                    "Don't you even!" She hissed at him from somewhere among their tangled limbs. 

                    "If anything, you should consider this a... a... ground advantage for both of us! Think of what could be accomplished while I distract Darkwing, yes?"

                    • Negaduck
                      Negaduck

                      Thought so.

                      Funny how he could come out on top even while reclining beneath her. Blackmail worked wonders like that. And so much more reliable than any ray gun.

                      "You can keep 'distracting' him."

                      Tracing a line down her spine towards her tail, a gesture of both familiarity with her form and a reminder of what he could rip out if she dared to keep him close.

                      "But I'm going to need a little more than that."

                      • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                        Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                        Blank stare.

                        "More? Like.... you want me to bang him for hours on end? Because I mean..." Sheepish shrug. 

                        Check that one off the 'ol bucket list, is all I'm saying. 

                         

                        • Negaduck
                          Negaduck

                          Tail yank.

                          "No." Ew. "I mean something more than satisfying your own pleasure. Something that's actually useful."

                          A low rumble, half accusatory, as he caught the underside of her bill.

                          "Else how can I know you're not working for him and distracting me?" 

                           

                          • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                            Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                            She let out a surprised yelp and rubbed her backside. They always go for the tail!

                            "You? The Great Negaduck, distracted? Perish the thought." Half sarcasm, half ego-boosting. 

                            "Besides, you don't have to worry about being distracted seeing as we're just business partners now." Translation: You been cut off, boy.

                            "Look, I'm sure we can find a way to make my relationship with Darkwing work for both of us. It'll simply require you not ratting me out, is all."

                            • Negaduck
                              Negaduck

                              Any vibes he had been giving off vanished the moment the 'R' word was uttered and the implication sank in like so many fish guts seeping in acid.

                              "Work, sure. Look, would you give me a second." 

                              Pushing her off to stand and stalk into the closest room.

                              Which he laid waste to in a manner that didn't even half vent his frustration, even if he managed to destroy bits of furniture with other bits of furniture.

                              Not only had Darkwing defeated him, but had defeated his attempt at garnering further blackmail fodder? Without even being there?! Again?!! WHAT MANNER OF CROOK BLOCKING WAS THIS.

                              Oh well. There was always another way...

                              • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                Blink blink. 

                                Pausing to hear what sounded like obvious sounds of destruction in the other room she rolled her eyes. Count on him to have a childish tantrum for not getting his way. 

                                She let out a long sigh. This was... not an ideal situation. Not at all. Somehow, she needed to find a way out of this conundrum without losing Darkwing or her limbs. 

                                 

                                • Negaduck
                                  Negaduck

                                  Stepping back into the hallway, Negaduck adjusted his cuffs as if there were not a room half collapsing behind him. 

                                  "Right. You don't want to be dropped in it? Then I want you to drop this somewhere only Darkwing will find and idiotically plug into his system. In his HQ, his jacket, I don't care."

                                  Presenting a small, pink and purple flash drive. Looked innocent enough. 

                                  "Nothing lethal. Just a little something to have some fun with."

                                  Brow raise. 

                                  "Deal?"

                                  • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                    Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                    Suspicious stare.

                                    "Since when were the words 'nothing lethal' and 'fun' ever in your vocabulary?"

                                    Still... if it was just a computer thing, then surely it wouldn't cause any real harm to Darkwing. Right? Maybe delete his harddrive, perhaps overpopulate it with porn...

                                    "Deal." She extended her hand to shake on it. 

                                    • Negaduck
                                      Negaduck

                                      He shook, but did not let go. 

                                      "Of course, there's still the matter of your punishment."

                                      A quick twist of her arm and he had flipped her over his shoulder and straight for the couch in the other, non-destroyed room. Whereabouts he caught her.. across his knee. 

                                      "Don't even try to say you didn't have this coming."

                                      WHACK. 

                                      SLAP. 

                                      WALLOP. 

                                      Always went for the tail, indeed. 

                                      • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                        Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                        "I... - AH! - Feel like this may be crossing the boundary of our -- ooOooh~ -- business-only partnership!" 

                                        Well, it didn't count as being unfaithful since it wasn't affectionate? Right??

                                        What's a little spanking between fiends? 

                                        • DarkwingPsycho
                                          DarkwingPsycho

                                          There was the sound of someone clearing his throat rather loudly.  There stood a rather amused SHUSH agent, his hands over the top of his cane, watching them from the open doorway Negaduck had so invitingly left ajar.

                                          "Ah - I do hope I'm interrupting something," he said with an amused smirk.

                                          • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                            Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                            "Jacob!" She squeaked, trying to squirm from Negaduck's grip. "Please disregard -eee!- what you are presently witnessing. 

                                            I mean, unless you're into this sort of thing.

                                            "This isn't a regular occurrence I assure you!

                                            • Negaduck
                                              Negaduck

                                              A shove, right on a pressure point between her shoulder blades, to keep Malicia in place. 

                                              "Ah ah ah. I'm not done with you."

                                              And back to it.

                                              51. 52...

                                              Rhythm re-established, he reclined back in seat to regard their visitor lazily as though nothing untoward was happening in his lap. 

                                              "Don't you know it's rude to let yourself in, old man."

                                              And yes I intend that statement ironically. 

                                              "Kind of in the middle of someone here."

                                              Touch slipping past a piece of fabric to openly hammer the point home very quickly that that statement was intended literally.

                                              Not, judging from that leer, he particularly cared. 

                                              • DarkwingPsycho
                                                DarkwingPsycho

                                                Jacob shrugged, seemingly unfazed by what was happening in front of him.  "Don't mind me.  I can wait."

                                                And so he did.  He seated himself on one of the armchairs near the sofa and crossed his legs, lounging back against the cushion.  Malicia didn't seem to be in distress, so he assumed this was a personal affair - one he didn't mind witnessing in the least.  After all, by this point he knew both parties fairly well.

                                                • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                                  Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                                  Mal was just gonna power on through and have this conversation, even if she was currently situated over Negaduck's lap and her eyes were crossing inwards.

                                                  "J...Jacob." She began weakly, her body shivering uncontrollably. "You look w-w-w-wwwweeeeelloooooohhades." 

                                                  Taking a moment to recollect herself, she continued. "Is SHUSH presently investigating anything of importance? Like, say, the source of a certain deadly ray gun used in a certain deadly city rampage?" 

                                                  Because it was safe to assume Jacob knew of her involvement. He already knew about her weapons business after all, it wouldn't take much for him to put two and two together. Nor did she expect Negaduck to care that he knew. 

                                                   

                                                  • Negaduck
                                                    Negaduck

                                                    At Jacob's nonchalance, Negaduck's expression fell into a scowl. He much preferred reactions of shock and disgust. 

                                                    Malicia's question, however, was a fitting distraction. 

                                                    "A certain backfiring ray gun."

                                                    At least this time he had something other than the furniture to take his frustration and strength out on. 

                                                    • DarkwingPsycho
                                                      DarkwingPsycho

                                                      He enjoyed the way Mal said his name, vulnerable as she was, but he didn't express it.  He reached out to cup her chin, leaning forward as he did so.  "They'd never admit it publicly, but their scientists are intrigued.  They'd pay a lot to get even a sample of the firepower they witnessed..."

                                                      He slid his fingers away gently, glancing at Negaduck after a pause.  "Backfiring?"

                                                      That explained this - ahem - punishment that was occurring.  At least that's what Jacob could deduce given the circumstances.

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