Open RP: Super Ways To Die

((OOC: I'll only reply like maybe once every two/three days, I'm an old man, be nice to me~)) 

Out on the streets, an old man, stooped over, was lugging a heavy briefcase behind him, stuffed to the brim with what looked like dollar bills sticking out of it. 

"Oh, I'm such a helpless old man, with a lot of money I'm carrying, alone," he announced... to no one in particular as he swung the briefcase around, nearly taking off a passerby's head. "Look at me, I'm so veak and tired, and defenceless. Vould be a shame if a supervillain were to come by and rob me, I vould be completely at their mercy!" 

"Shh, don't make eye contact," a mother told her child, rushing him along to avoid the crazy raving old man with his moustache slipping off and a slightly manic look in his eyes. 

    • Duckpool
      Duckpool

      Duckpool, having heard the words "helpless" and "Money" and also knowing the name of this RP, begins following doctor Drake from the roof tops, silently observing and waiting too see what happens to the first guy who trys and robs him.

      • DarkwingPsycho
        DarkwingPsycho

        "Professor," a voice said from behind the old man.  The voice belonged to a not-quite-as-old-man, who stood a head and a half taller than the disguised Von Drake.  The mallard raised a brow.  "One of your experiments, I presume?"  The mustache was an appreciated albeit unnecessary addition.  Jacob approved.  "This may not go in your favor, you realize."

        • Negaduck
          Negaduck

          Announcing that you're vulnerable in this city was just asking for trouble.

          Speaking of trouble.

          Trouble in a big red hat and yellow coat came around the corner. "You called?" 

          Yup. Probably won't go in the old drake's favor as said.

          • Ludwig Von Drake
            Ludwig Von Drake

            How? His disguise was perfect, how could he have seen through him? 

            "Shhh," he waved his hands at Jacob, along with the briefcase. "I have dis all under control, now shoo, you may scare off de villains! Now, as I was saying... helpless old man!! Weak, frail, helpless old man wit- aha!" he brightened as a villain showed up. "Finally! Uh, I mean, aaah! Oh no, what shall I do? Dis are my life savings!" He hugged the briefcase to himself tightly, then dropped it. "Oops?" 

            • DarkwingPsycho
              DarkwingPsycho

              Jacob glanced at his watch, then back at the drake, trying to keep his patience.  "I've been instructed by SHUSH to bring you in for an interview.  You understand.  You'll have to put this experiment on --"

              When Negaduck came into view, Jacob sighed and put his fingers to his forehead.  "Great - just what we need."

              • Duckpool
                Duckpool

                Duckpool has put together several things. 1. The mustache is not really real ,  2. the man is old, but probably not helpless, and 3. He probably still doesn't have something that can kill a duck who once regenerated from a single severed hand, but he should still let Negaduck go first, pro-courteousy and all.

                • Negaduck
                  Negaduck

                  Negaduck raised an eyebrow. This old man was acting odd for someone who was in his presence. Usually, they were trembling in fear or running and screaming.

                  "You look like you could use some help with that. That briefcase might break those twigs you call arms."

                  If by help, you mean sticking an attack squid on the professor's head that the villain pulled from out of his coat and then grabbing the case of money before dashing off while laughing in maniacal glee.

                  "That was easy. Like taking candy from a baby." Then he grinned. "I think I know I'll do next."

                  • Ludwig Von Drake
                    Ludwig Von Drake

                    "Wak!!" 

                    Well, the squid attack was unexpected. But so was this!! 

                    Even in Ludwig's blind flailing, he was still able to hit a remote he had hidden up his sleeve. Within a second, the suitcase had burst open, and when the dust cleared, Negaduck was tangled in steel cables, on the floor, with a blackboard next to him. 

                    "It worked!!" Ludwig had managed to wrestle the attack squid off, and laughed and clapped his hands like a kid on Christmas morning. Completely forgetting Jacob, he rushed over, digging out a clipboard, a pen and some chalk. 

                    "Now, I'd like to ask you a few questions!" he said as he scribbled all over the blackboard... first with the pen, then quickly replacing it with the chalk, mentally calculating the time it got for him to be attacked and robbed by the villain, the force of the attack and the soundwaves produced by the maniacal laugh. "First off, can you state your name, favourite crime, and powers?" 

                    • Duckpool
                      Duckpool

                      Duckpool falls off the roof he was on laughing hysterically as he sees what happened to Negaduck.

                       

                      "Oh my god, tell me you got that on video!"

                      • DarkwingPsycho
                        DarkwingPsycho

                        When the attack squid made its appearance, Jacob sighed again and helped pry it off of Von Drake.  However, when the professor unleashed his trap, he raised his brows.  Impressive.

                        He moved up behind the scientist.  "I hate to interrupt, but would it be possible to continue this conversation at SHUSH?  We really should be going."  And the less time I have to spend in Negaduck's presence, the better.

                        • Negaduck
                          Negaduck

                          "Huh?!" The villain squawked in surprise as the briefcase exploded in his hands. Negaduck made some angry cat noises after finding himself trapped in the net as he flailed about. He even tried to chew through it with no success since it was made of steel.

                          He laid there seething in rage as he glared at the old drakes. 

                          "What the hell kind of stupid questions is that?"

                          Hearing Duckpool laughing he snarled more. "Oh just laugh it up. You won't be when I get out of here?!"

                          • Duckpool
                            Duckpool

                            'Can't die, no need to fear'

                            Duckpool continues laughing like an idiot.

                            • Ludwig Von Drake
                              Ludwig Von Drake

                              "Oh, I film all my projects," he told Duckpool with a smile, showing him the hidden camera on his shirt button. "It helps me go over any course of action I may have missed! And of course, it can be cataco- catalock- taco- I mean, it can be shelved away for future studies!" he said with a spread of his arms. 

                              "And don't you shush me!" he looked at Jacob, annoyed. "I'm trying to think-! Oh, that SHUSH! Calm down, I will only be a minute!" he waved a hand and turned back to his test subject. 

                              "Superpowers, my friend!" he prompted Negaduck cheerfully. "Do you generate attack squids from your body? Are you able to incapacitate an innocent by using your voice? Come on, man, tell me." 

                              From the look on the angry villain's face, however, Ludwig realised he was going to be disappointed. 

                              "You... don't have powers?" he aaked, sounding dejected as his shoulders started to droop. 

                              With a click, the metal restraints fell off Negaduck and the professor offered him a hand to get up. 

                              "I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I was looking for actual supervillain threats... for a moment I was fooled! I didn't realise you were actually harmless. Here, have this complimentary candy and be on your way merrily!" he smiled as he held out a sticky, half-melted strawberry lollipop. 

                              Duckpool may not be able to die, but the old drake certainly had no such immunity. Rest in peace, Ludwig Von Drake. 

                              • DarkwingPsycho
                                DarkwingPsycho

                                Jacob leaned back in surprise at being shushed and then berated.  This wasn't generally how his interactions went down.  Blinking, he considered slinging the old man over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, but decided that might not be the best outcome.  So he shrugged and continued observing with a detached smile.

                                He couldn't help himself, though, and let out a slight guffaw.  "Negaduck with superpowers?  Not unless you count halitosis and collecting skulls."  He paused, then added to the masked villain, "Just what kinda hobby is that, anyway?"  He shuddered.

                                When Negaduck was freed, however, he tensed and watched carefully, ready for the public enemy to try something.  That is, until the lollipop came out.  He chuckled.

                                • Negaduck
                                  Negaduck

                                  "Everyone has a hobby." Negaduck then grins. "I'm about to add three more to my collection."

                                  He bristled from the comment about being harmless. "Harmless?! I am far from being harmless!" He snatched the lollipop, ate it, and then stuck the drool covered sticky stick into what little hair the idiot Ludwig had left.

                                  Out from somewhere in his cape he pulled a shotgun. Maybe the professor should be asking if he had a pocket dimension in that costume. Where does he keep pulling things from?

                                  "Now. About those skulls?"

                                  • Duckpool
                                    Duckpool

                                    "Ahem"

                                    Duckpool has also whipped a weapon out, seemingly from no where, he has armed himself with a military grade gatling gun.

                                    "One Sociopath to another Negs, you need to calm the F*** down..."

                                    Duckpools whirs the Gatling guns barrel, just for effect.


                                    "Before I use my Devil's paintbrush here to turn you into Street Graffiti"

                                     

                                    *It should be noted that we do not have a lot of info on Duckpool's canon version as he only appears in a single oneshot issue, so I am opperating under the assumption that he has all the same abilities as Deadpool*

                                    • DarkwingPsycho
                                      DarkwingPsycho

                                      As soon as Negaduck revealed his shotgun, Jacob drew his own glock and aimed it at the felon.  He slid in front of von Drake.  The intrusion of Duckpool, however, gave him pause.  Where did he get a gun like that?!

                                      He leaned down toward the professor but kept his eyes on Negaduck.  "Perhaps now would be a good time to exit."

                                      • Ludwig Von Drake
                                        Ludwig Von Drake

                                        "But I never even caught a supervillain!" Ludwig started to whine, after flicking the lollipop stick away. "I barely started any of my research!" 

                                        He peeked around Jacob towards the red and black costumed duck. "Are you a supervillain, and do you have powers?" he called out to him hopefully. 

                                        • Negaduck
                                          Negaduck

                                          "I AM A SUPERVILLAIN?!" Negaduck readied the shotgun. "I would say you need to grow a better brain but I'm about to splatter it all over the sidewalk!"

                                          He was unafraid of Duckpool's weapon.

                                          "Don't worry. I'll be getting to you soon enough. Don't get your tights in a bunch.

                                          • Duckpool
                                            Duckpool

                                            "I have superpowers, but I'm more of an anti hero."

                                            Duckpool then began to whir the gatling gun faster

                                            "Pal, you do know that I literally can't be killed right? Even if you do kill these guys, you won't kill me, and i basically have unlimited time to hunt down and kill you with."

                                            • DarkwingPsycho
                                              DarkwingPsycho

                                              Jacob raised a brow at Duckpool.  "You're immortal?"  He glanced back at Dr. Von Drake.  "Sounds like a good subject to me."

                                              • Ludwig Von Drake
                                                Ludwig Von Drake

                                                "I'm sorry, Negaduck, but the 'super' in 'supervillain' is there for a reason," Ludwig explained calmly. "Without powers, you aren't super. Just a regular old villain. Dat's like scholarships! They're just plain old ships without scholars in it! Oh, what am I saying," he chuckled to himself. 

                                                He looked a little doubtful when Duckpool was suggested as a candidate. He wanted supervillains! Not... superantiheroes! 

                                                Hmm... what if... 

                                                Ludwig. Ludwig no. No no no- 

                                                Ziiing! 

                                                A beam shot from a device Ludwig was suddenly holding, aimed straight at the two ducks about to fight. 

                                                If successful, Jacob would be greeted with the horrfying amalgamate that is Negaduckpool. 

                                                • Negaduck
                                                  Negaduck

                                                  "I will a find a way to deal with you, comic book reject." Negaduck rolled his eyes. The whole can't be killed thing was meaningless to him as he could do things to him that are worst than death if need be.

                                                  He had enough with being insulted by the old man. "Regular old villain? Oh, you're going to find out the hard way that I am all but regular. Because I've had---" His ranting was cut off when the beam came at them.

                                                  • Duckpool
                                                    Duckpool

                                                    "Oh you will, will you, why I oughta..."

                                                    Then the beam hits

                                                    "WHAT THE FLYING CLUCK"

                                                    • DarkwingPsycho
                                                      DarkwingPsycho

                                                      Jacob blinked and stared, then turned his flabbergasted look on the professor.  "What in blazes have you done?"

                                                      Well...maybe this was a good thing.  Maaaaybe they'd at least keep one another occupied.  The city'd enjoy less destruction.