Arms Race

    Duckpool
    By Duckpool Comments (15)

    Categories: Public Roleplay

    *in the middle of the night every TV on at the late hour, particularly the ones on Channel 7, suddenly change to a hastily made commercial* "Hey you, Yeah you!" Duckpool walks on screen wearing a white tuxedo over his costume "Ever wanted to buy a slightly used weapon of mass destruction? Then come down to Uncle Duckpool's Weapon's Warehouse! Tomorrow night we'll be auctioning off a variety of new stock, including these!"

    The Screen changes to show a shopping cart full of ballistic missiles, then a prototype GizmoDuck suit on a mannequin, and finally...is that a nuke?

    "I'd tell you where to find us, but if your coming you already know where it is!"

      • Steelbeak
        Steelbeak

        The following evening, a well-dressed rooster sauntered into the warehouse along with two burly-looking Eggmen.  He signed in with a flourish then adjusted his yellow bowtie before taking a pamphlet listing the auction items and finding a seat.  Curiously he glanced around at the other patrons, and was positive with FOWL's finances in his back pocket, he could get whatever his little flightless heart desired.

        • Duckpool
          Duckpool

          A duck in an eggman uniform walked around collecting weapons from the customers and putting them into a burlap sack. He says nothing to steelbeak ashe walks up. The only thing distinguishing him from the other two eggmen was a significant lack of muscle mass and a name tag that revealed his name to be Bob

          • Steelbeak
            Steelbeak

            Steelbeak looked curiously at "Bob."  "You don't look like one 'a ours," he said slowly.  "Where'd you get dat uniform?"

            He was not about to give up his weapons so easily.

            • Duckpool
              Duckpool

              "I used to be, you fired me after SHUSH caught me sleeping on the job." Bob scowls at Steelbeak " Weapons please, including the switchblades in your shoes you think no one knows about."

              Duckpool is moving some guns onto tables, it is clear that bob is his only employee.

              • Steelbeak
                Steelbeak

                Steelbeak scowled.  "If you woiked at FOWL den you know 'ow dangerous it is ta cross me," he said evenly.  "I came 'ere ta spend money, not get inta petty fights wit' scumbags and lowlifes, sointenly not wit' de likes o' youse, Rip Van Winkle.  Now move along before de boys 'ere make yas."

                He motioned carelessly toward the Eggmen towering behind him.

                • Duckpool
                  Duckpool

                  "Alrighty then." Bob nods and walks off. "Screwball."

                   

                  -----------

                  Duckpool was trying on diffrent hats, ranging from tiny Fez to massive ten gallon hats backstage as Bob walked in.

                  "Hey boss, Steelbeaks pretty rowdy out there. Might want to hurry up.'

                  • Steelbeak
                    Steelbeak

                    Steelbeak glanced impatiently at his watch, then at his competitors.  Another good reason for keeping his weapons was to "convince" the others to let him win every bid.  This was going to be a real steal.  Pun unintended...

                    • Duckpool
                      Duckpool

                      Deadpool walks on stage twirling a particularly dangerous looking Shotgun.

                      "Ladies, Gentleman, Assorted non-binary Criminals, welcome to Duckpool's Weapons of Mass Destruction Hour! These weapons are all recycled from abandoned military installations and old super villian lairs, One crooks waste, am I right?"

                      Steelbeak might notice that several of the crates are marked FOWL. The words, however have been crossed out in red.

                      • Steelbeak
                        Steelbeak

                        "Let's get dis ova wit'!" Steelbeak shouted, then started filing his nails.  He didn't notice the crates - at least not yet.

                        • Duckpool
                          Duckpool

                          A round of buckshot goes off mere inches from Steelbeak's foot.

                          "While I more than appreciate this dimensions Lazy Hydra ripoff sending their smalltime Kingpig to do there bidding, please..."

                          Another shot goes off into one of the large eggmen

                          "Keep quiet till the bidding :)"

                          • Steelbeak
                            Steelbeak

                            Steelbeak jumped, then scowled at the shot, then sighed when his Eggman was pummeled with bullets and toppled over.

                            "Dey don't make'em like dey used to."

                            • Duckpool
                              Duckpool

                              "Don't be unimpressed by the eggman, be impressed by the gun!"

                              Bob places a Cinderblock ON TOP of one of the FOWL Crates.

                               

                              "This is a Biometal Shotgun, capable of firing sixteen shots of Psionic buckshot in 1 minute, not that more than one will be needed."

                               

                              Duckpool fires the gun and the Cinderblock is destroyed.

                               

                              "We have two hundred of these, lets start the bidding at 5000

                              • Steelbeak
                                Steelbeak

                                "In a minute?  Buddy, I got FOWL scientists who've got a similar weapon dat kin do de same t'ing in 10 seconds!  Why don'tcha break out de REAL munitions."

                                He lazily regarded the burnt place where the cinderblock used to be, then his eyes narrowed.  Leaning forward, staring at the familiar logo, he said slowly, "Hey, wait a minute 'ere.  Did you steal all 'a dese from FOWL?!"

                                • Duckpool
                                  Duckpool

                                  "Uh...no. We, um, borrowed the...boxes..."

                                  Duckpool makes a note to beat the crap out of Bob later.

                                  "I-I don't know where these come from you'll have to ask our supplier!"

                                  • Steelbeak
                                    Steelbeak

                                    Steelbeak raised a brow.  "Some'ow I'm not buyin' it, an' we're not buyin' any a your stolen goods, neither!"  He stood up and moved toward Bob, his beady black eyes flashing.  "Just who IS yer supplier?"