Fae you'll be there

(OOC: Reserved for Mal, Lilly and Glad.)

Tall and proud and wondrous fair
The people of the dark and air
Hold high the iron that they fear
When the fair folk call, don’t let them near

The person who stood on the street corner was the kind of person who reminded you of song lyrics. If it was an unsettling song that you nevertheless couldn't quite get our of your head. Tall, straight-backed, with no definable gender, unless majestic beauty was a gender. They shook out the pale hair that cascaded almost down to their knees, straight and ridiculously glossy, and took stock of their surroundings.

It was a city. They didn't know what else they expected. The highest buildings shone tantalizingly in the twilight but it was still the city. Noisy and dusty and full of people living their noisy, dusty people lives. Not the place to take a break from family politics.

And then there was light. A door opened nearby, letting out light and warmth, the smell of alcohol and hot food, laughter and music before someone passed through and it closed behind them, leaving the street even more lifeless and boring than before. That was the place to take a break. Like a human's very own fairy feast, they felt themselves entranced and drawn to the door, settling into the nearest chair as the sounds of merriment washed around them.

    • Gladstone Gander
      Gladstone Gander

      The person who stood behind the bar, although he had no right to be there, also reminded you of song lyrics.  Probably some really loud, catchy pop song that got on your nerves after awhile. But charming in its own unique sort of eighty's synthesizer meets one-man band meets maraca jam band eclectic way.  Gladstone was mixing drinks.  He was mixing drinks because he was bored and because he liked it when people paid attention to him, what better way to do this than to hijack the bar?  And what better way to get lots of attention than to make complicated drinks in a needlessly flashy fashion? Currently, he was pouring the liquor equivalent to cough syrup into a tower of glasses he held with one hand. He had a rapt audience.

      "The goal, other than getting you fine people drunk, is for me to pour the booze from this tower into the shot glasses balanced so precisely on the pint glasses of Monstars brand energy drink in front of you, tipping one shot glass in triggering a chain reaction that plunks those happy little shots into that fizzy goodness and not breaking lots of expensive glassware and worst of all.. spilling alcohol. That is alcohol abuse and is very frowned upon so let's see how I do huh? Can I get a countdown?" he nodded to a grinning woman wearing a veil flanked by six sashed women. "Bachelorette party ladies would you do the honor?" 

      The countdown counted down and the trick went down without a hitch.  It was pretty damned impressive. No glasses were broken not a drop dripped, it was pure artistry... or you know... luck. Potato, lucktato.

      After the cheering, some smattered drunken applause, and of course imbibing Gladstone found himself with an extra glass.  And a mysterious lone person haunting a corner table. Well, waste not want not? He sent it over.  


      Wasn't he generous? 


      With other people's liquor.


      That's not the point. 


      • Lilly Teal
        Lilly Teal

        The mysterious lone person had watched the entertainment at the bar with amusement, but as soon as the trick was over they turned their eyes to to the rest of the club again. So many pretty little things, laughing and charming. Lovely clothes. Lovely music.

        The drink arrived, and they blinked, looking back at the bar. The blonde one was amusing as well. Pretty and healthy looking. They raised their glass with an absolutely beautiful smile, the most beautiful that was ever smiled at this club, and didn't seem to notice as a bar patron got stuck staring at that smile until her elbow slipped and she fell right off her stool.

        Or maybe they did notice. They drank. Fine eyebrows raising, they beckoned to blonde with the green jacket to come join them.

        "Are you always so amusing?"

        • Gladstone Gander
          Gladstone Gander

          Gladstone found himself taking a seat at the table, not remembering the decision to do so, or even walking across the club to do so.  That was a heck of a smile.  One he returned.

          "I like think so." He informed the stranger brightly. "First time at the Coatl? Heck of a place isn't it?" He looked around the swanky interior with a proud smile.  As if it was his business or he had any stake in the place rather than draining the liquor stores and distracting the employees by being 'amusing'. "No place else like it anywhere. And I've been all over, ah!" His eyes lit up and he checked his watch. "Oh and you're in luck my friend, the next performer's about to come on and believe me... she's amazing. Phenomenal. Set of pipes on her that would make a siren weep with jealousy, dances like she's on a cloud, sharp as a tack-" He tapped his temple grinning widely. "-sweet as pie, and pretty as a picture."

          Glowing praise. Which might seem odd, unless you knew that he embarrassed the target of such weighty compliments by spewing them to anyone who would listen. He had taken it upon himself to be her hypeman.  He did it gladly and with gusto.  It was easy to do when you believed it.

          "Just you wait, she's going to knock your socks off. If you're wearing them... I'd check but I think that might be too forward. Sorry I run off at the mouth sometimes, Gladstone Gander-" He extended a hand for the visitor to shake.

          • Lilly Teal
            Lilly Teal

            An elegant, long-fingered hand took his and shook it gently. "You can call me Fay," they said, with the air of someone telling a inside joke. "Gladstone Gander." The full name, freely given, rolled over their tongue like something sweet. "Let us see if you are right."

            As if on perfect cue, my but this was a blessed table today, the song began, and Fay fixed their attention to the stage as the performer smiled and glittered, practically bouncing with happiness in the performance.

            Beautiful voice. Check.

            Moves gracefully. Check.

            Pretty. Check.

            Healthy. Check.

            Sweetness and intelligence were hard to gauge just from sight, but with everything else being correct, Fay was confident that those estimates would be true as well.

            "Just as you said," they said with another brilliant smile, even more so because of the sheer enthusiasm it contained now. The very second the song ended, the eyes were fixed on Gladstone again. "Bring her here, Gladstone Gander.."

            • Gladstone Gander
              Gladstone Gander

              Gladstone had rested his chin in his hand watching the performance raptly.  After she was done he was midway through drawing a breath to plop some more completely biased praise on the table when the... request(?) hit him.  He blinked, his eyes closing out of sync with one another as he suddenly had an urge to run to the backstage door, which was odd.  He hated running, it was so much work. What was he going to say? It had completely slipped his mind.  Oh but-

              "You know what," He knocked his knuckles on the table lightly. "-I'm gunna bring her back here to meet you.  I'm sure she'd love to talk to you. Just gimme a sec."

              And thus began one of his  strangest jaunts through the club to reach the stage.  A busboy tripped and a cast iron skillet fell neatly into Gladstone's hands, he stared at it, then the busboy and handed it back. He passed a table where a very loud, drunken man was discussing the weird fascination the author of the Basil of Bakerstreet mysteries had with fairies and how ludicrous it was that the creatures could lure anyone away to their realm.  Another waiter rushed past him with a plate of mushrooms arranged in a neat little circle around the edge of the entree.  When finally he reached the door he swore he could hear the tingling of bells. This on it's own wasn't unusual (which was a relative term for the gander in question) but... he found himself pausing to listen, as if there were words in the ringing... his brief time as a pixie himself came to mind... which only deepened the confused frown on his face. But it was just tinkling bells. He shook his head and went through the door.

              Gladstone made a point of being backstage to intercept Lilly after her performances whenever he was present to see them.  He was usually lying in wait before her second foot was off the stage to offer her his... 'critique' of her show, and the dark corner by the dressing rooms was quiet enough that he could really give her an unabridged appraisal of her-they made out. Okay? You try coming up with endless innuendos.

              But tonight the gander moved toward the stage, with his formidable eyebrows knotted in thought. Something didn't feel right.  He wasn't even warming up the smolder to lure her away, he sent a look back at the backstage door and paused as his foot connected with a little bowl, sloshing it's contents but not spilling it. Slowly  he looked down at the little bowl of milk and the irritated and completely indignant stray cat who had been allowed in to drink from it. He put up his hands in a sign of peace that was returned with an angry tail flick and a narrowing of eyes and nearly backed into Lilly as she came off stage.

              "Oh! Hi. I... has there always been a cat there?" he shook his head. "I mean you were faetastic... fan-" He rubbed his temples with sigh. But a crystalline clear voice rang through his memory and his eyes opened and fixed on her purposefully. "I'd like you to meet someone. Come with me?" He offered his hand to her.

              • Lilly Teal
                Lilly Teal

                She held up his hands to catch his shoulders before he backed into her, but he saved himself. 

                "Hi!" she said brightly, the performance high and the sight of the gander both working to send her sky high. But his expression brought her down quickly enough.

                "Sweetheart, are you feeling alright?" Reaching up, she touched his forehead gently. "You look a little dazed, are you tired?"

                And yet it passed. Surprisingly suddenly, in fact, and it startled her slightly. His eyes were clear and bright and he seemed very sure of himself in the space of a second. But then that was Gladstone all over. He was often sure of himself. And it was often what she liked about him. Smiling, she took his hand and laced her fingers with his.

                "Of course. Are you trying to embarrass me again or is this someone you actually want me to meet?"

                As they moved away from the stage together, one of the performers exited the backstage door with an armful of cosmetics. Passing the couple, she sneezed, sending up a cloud of glitter.

                The same busboy tripped again, this time with a box of iron nails. Scooping them out of the way so they could pass, he muttered an embarrassed apology and started to gather them up.

                "... things are a little strange today," she murmured, but only in the interest of passing a comment. Things were often a little strange where they were concerned, what was new?

                Fay had stood up from their table, smiling widely, not even waiting for them to full reach the table before extending a long arm to grasp Lilly's hand and pull her closer, the other hovering over her hair without touching it.

                Well that wasn't creepy at all. She gave them a wide-eyed look.

                "You are rather sweet."

                "Oh. Um. Thank you?"

                • Gladstone Gander
                  Gladstone Gander

                  As they approached the table Gladstone's eyes were drawn to the entrance where a man in nylon wings and a wig was arguing with the doorman.  Apparently singing telegrams came in Tooth Fairy flavor these days- Lilly was drawn in close by a pulled hand, but her other hand was still in Gladstone's as a result he stumbled forward abruptly. Catching himself again before he plowed right into her which would have sent her literally into another person's arms. But he was close enough to not appreciate how close this Fay actually was.  Didn't they see how well groomed and treated those tresses were? He slaved for weeks applying hair masks and oils to that flowing mane.  (He had a very different sleep schedule then his entrepreneurial girlfriend so like a normal person he took advantage of the time he had while she was asleep to use his hyper complicated 12 step hair care routine on her.  Completely normal.) Narrowing his eyes slightly he hooked his index finger into the space between Lilly's hair and Fay's hand and attempted to push the intruding appendage away by means of index finger to palm.  Something about this whole thing was making his skin crawl, but what was it? The Tooth Fairy made a mad dash for the dance floor behind him, attempting to reach a woman at the edge of it.  He was tackled and dragged out by two steely faced  men who were her bodyguards. Gladstone didn't see any of this.  And somewhere his luck sighed miserably.

                  "Lillypad this is Fay." He informed her with a slightly strained smile at the person in question. "I was telling them all about how wonderful you are-" He noticed the grip on her hand and redirected his efforts to try to pry the slender fingers away from her meticulously manicured hands. (Listen... he got very bored when she was asleep) "-and-Jiminy Crickets that's quite a grip- Fay agrees." Tug tug. "Clearly." 

                  Was there a crowbar nearby? A jackhammer? LET GO OF MY GIRLFRIEND YOU DISARMINGLY ATTRACTIVE PERSON. He fought the urge to cover Lilly's eyes, his hand was halfway up to her face before it lowered back down, fingers itching to shield her from such a glorious sight. 

                  "Say, Fay... would you mind giving her some breathing room?"


                  • Lilly Teal
                    Lilly Teal

                    If Fay noticed any of the frantic efforts to detach them, they didn't show it. Gladstone's force didn't make a scrap of difference to either their grip, their position, and least of all their intense focus on the person in front of them. It was like Fay had forgotten Gladstone was there at all. He may well have been talking to a wall for all the reaction he got.

                    Soft hands. Their hand finally connected with the hair. Soft. Glossy. Bright eyes. Good teeth. All indicators of good health.

                    Their expression was better suited to a small child in a petshop, and looked as it it was about to segue into 'I want this one please please please I promise to take care of it and remember to take it for walks and feed it-'

                    Except Fay had no parents present to convince into agreeing to get what they wanted.

                    Lilly started looking nervous, as carefully tried to twist her hand away from the grip.

                    "That's really nice, honey. It's good to meet you, Fay, but, um. I'd like my hand back. Please? Wouldn't you like something to eat? Or to sit down?"

                    Or move at all? Emote a little more than that fixed expression of delighted interest?

                    "No," they said shortly, taking their hand away from her hair to push the chair away to give them all room to move. "Come, we're leaving."

                    "W- wait. We? Nononononono I have to stay here I have so much to do-" and I don't want to go anywhere with you I don't know who you are please let go of my hand-

                    Both of them turned their eyes to Gladstone. Lilly's were a pleading help me and Fay's were a powerful stop.

                    Lilly tried to pull away. Fay pulled harder, and the duckette stumbled towards the door, yet nobody else seemed to notice them. The ambient noises of the club were slightly muffled, as if from a distance to what was currently happening.

                    "Goodbye, Gladstone Gander," said Fay, because there was such a thing as manners when someone had helped you. And then the door shut behind them, and the club was immediate again.

                    • Gladstone Gander
                      Gladstone Gander
                      Stop? Yes okay stopping was good.  Gladstone folded his hands and stopped, well everything.  Breathing , blinking, moving, he was vaguely aware of his name being said but there wasn't anything he could do. He was stopped after all.  But when Fay and their prey set foot outside  the enchantment was the one that stopped. Unfortunately he was now lightheaded because of lack of oxygen and just toppled over onto the table for a second gasping for air.  Then he was outraged.  A quick winded sprint out the doors confirmed his worst fear that they were long gone.  
                      "Okay-" He wheezed to himself as he went back inside, and made a beeline for the backstage door. "Alright." Pushed his way through, ending up in the deserted dressing room where he grabbed Lilly's purse. He simultaenously pulled out her phone and his own. He checked his watch, let out a growling sigh and placed a call on his own phone as he distractedly thumbed through her contacts. 
                      "Yes hello, my name is Gladstone Gander I need to cancel my dinner reservation for two tonight." He said tiredly, imagining yet another delicious meal he shall never know. They would never share... it was criminal really how these things always happened around meal times.  With visions of fine dining dancing though his head he carelessly started typing out the desired contact's last name that he hoped could help sort out this whole mess and punched the first result that came up. "No I don't think I can reschedule at this time thank you. Hmm, yes good-bye."
                      He lifted Lilly's phone to his ear as an answering machine picked up... and unfortunately the band started playing their next song. Loudly.

                      "Ariana, There's been a giant catastrophe at the Coatl Club and it's for the most..ugh. So an unnaturally charming, beautiful, no downright dazzling person grabbed Lilly,  Just waltzed in and  lay claim to her like it was their mission. I don't know what to do with myself at all, I'm terrible a these things... she's not even wearing comfortable shoes. She's too pretty I've decided. I bet they're all 'I've fallen madly in love with you, here is a mountain of gold and chocolate for you to sleep on, and a dress made of diamonds, all you have to do is come with me.'  Please come quick.  I need your help."

                      Was what he actually said.  But with the orchestral cacophony being what it was, the message that was left would sound more like: 
                      "There's a giant trophy at the Coatl Club and it's for the most  unnaturally charming, beautiful, no, downright dazzling person! Just waltz in and claim it!  I don't know what to do with all these shoes! Too pretty.  I've decided  I've fallen madly in love with you, here is a mountain of gold and chocolate for you to sleep on, and a dress made of diamonds, all you have to do is come with me. Please come quick. I need you."
                      Gladstone hung up the phone and looked at himself in the mirror of the vanity table.  He rolled his eyes at himself.
                      "Guess we look for clues and hope Ms. McCawber shows up hm?"
                      And that's what he did.  After all, his luck wouldn't let him down now right? Surely a Macawber was incoming...? After all, the message had been quite clear it was urgent. Who would refuse such an SOS?
                      • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                        Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                        There was quite a calamity near the front when the doors to the club seemed to explode inward as a blur of orange, red, and yellow ran through. Not through as in, the door was open to new guests, but rather the type of passage that left a generously-curvy duck shaped hole in the wood. 

                        Quite possibly a new world record for Malicia Macawber, who normally moved at a lumbering pace. Partly because she didn't like to muss up her perfect hair from the wind velocity, but mainly she was slowed by the sheer weight of her... everything (namely her large magnificence). 

                        But even she could perform unusual feats when presented with the promise of shinies, sweets, and mystery lovers. She didn't recognize the voice on the other end of the phone, and frankly it didn't matter. But no doubt it was one of her many admirers, and she was not surprised they had fallen so madly in love with her. How could you not?

                        One problem: She wasn't sure what to look for exactly, aside from a mountain of gold. Which, she could not seem to locate. Odd. 

                        An idea occurred to her and she whipped out her bling-embedded cellphone to peruse her call history. Ah, yes, there was the number. Perhaps if she texted him, she would be able to find him toute de suite. Her claws clacked against the screen as she punched out the message and sent it:

                        The Queen has arrived! Where r u?

                        • Gladstone Gander
                          Gladstone Gander

                          The Queen had arrived and really it had been less than a royal greeting.  Of all the lousy luck-

                          "Excuse me Miss?" A strapping man tapped her on the shoulder and presented her with a glittering smile.  "Are these for you?" He motioned to a hand truck loaded with God Diva chocolate boxes.  He must have been the Morsel Messenger because he even was dressed in all brown, like chocolate! Never mind that the three letters "UPS" appeared on his lapel there was probably a reason for that too.... "Ubiquitous Pleasure Servant"? "Unanimous Present Server"? "Unusually Perky... Specime-" never mind what it stood for!  He was giving her a tower of chocolate! "Can I just get your autograph here?" He held out a paper and pen.

                          AND HE WAS A FAN?! Goodness. Now what about...

                          "Ah pardon?" A nervous looking man poked his head in through the voluptuous hole in the wall. "Seems my armored car filled with gold bars has broken down outside this aerated establishment.  Does anyone have a phone I could borrow?"

                          "OUT OF MY WAY!"  Fumed a horse faced woman in a glittery copper dress as she forced her way around the truck driver.  She pulled what resembled a liquid pool of shimmering silvery blue out of a bag and threw it at Malicia's face. "IF BRENT DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE MY COMMISSION HE COULD HAVE SAID, NOW YOU CAN TELL HIM THAT HE'LL NEVER SEE ME OR MY MONEY EVER AGAIN! HE CAN KEEP HIS TACKY OVERSIZED DIAMOND GOWN! GOOD LUCK FINDING ANYONE WITH THOSE PROPORTIONS!" She turned on her flashy heel and stormed back out.

                          That was... well...

                          "My god why are there so many SHOES under here?! Did a family of elves take up shop under this table... elves... huh... what if-oh, oh! Hey!  Malicia isn't it?" The dress that had draped over her head was lifted slightly and Gladstone peeked up at her, one arm loaded with fancy pumps... in... WHAT SIZE? OH GOD WHAT SIZZEEE THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE ICECREAM! GIMMIE!! "Gladstone Gander, we met once briefly... like forever ago.  There was the fat walrus guy and some rude waiters involved.  It's nice to see you again... um... you know this isn't how you wear this right?  What're you doing here?"

                          • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                            Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                            Talk about a sensory overload. Her neck practically cracked from moving in so many directions as she debated what to grab first. The shoes would have been top priority, had she not been suddenly obscured by a rather dazzling dress. Somehow, it managed to get tangled up around her head and she was clawing blindly like a helpless frazzled feline until Gladstone took a peek under the skirt. 

                            Malicia was normally not one to remember names. Or faces. Or really anything outside the immediate sphere of herself. But for whatever reason, she did in fact recall meeting Gladstone back at that very horrible gala where she had been forced to dance with that walking sac of blubber. The cleavage full of jewels she took home was the only highlight of that particular caper. 

                            "You were with The Hugging One, weren't you?" Again, see aforementioned narcissism. Then, a dawning realization.

                            "Wait, were you the one who called me?" Holding up her phone for emphasis. 

                            He was rather handsome. Quite a charmer too, she recalled. Not quite her type though... a little too... what was the word... not a total flaming bag of garbage. 

                            • Gladstone Gander
                              Gladstone Gander

                              The...Hugging... oh don't pretend. We all know who she means. He was about to reply when the phone was presented into evidence.

                              "...call... oh... OH... I suppose I did.  I thought I was calling my friend Ariana but it was Lilly's and-OH!" He tugged the dress to remove it from her head, where it fell neatly into his arms draped beautifully over those exquisite shoes. "Wait hold the phone... well you literally are but that's not what... since you're here. What do you know about mysterious kidnappers with perfect bone structure and hypnotic powers? Only Lilly's been grabbed you see there was a person sitting right there-" He pointed to a table and frowned at the massive shimmering...was that a... "-where did that trophy come from? And why is it so big? Look..." He turned back to Malicia hopefully, his arms filled with glittering shiny things. "-can you at least help me take a look around? I need to find her." 

                              • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                Mal guffawed. "You thought that dewy-eyed damsel could help you with such a supernatural mystery? Please. It must be your lucky day because you are speaking to the Macawber family member with the greatest magical repertoire. I can figure out what happened to Leelee in no time flat!" 

                                She took a moment to mull over the facts Gladstone had presented before her. "Mysterious kidnapper with perfect bone structure and hypnotic powers, you say?" 

                                Ding! The mildly-singed light-bulb went off above her head and she snapped her fingers.

                                "Oh of course, it's so obvious! It's David Bow-wow-ie! Or... I suppose his ghost?" She retrieved a pen and paper from somewhere within her ample cleavage. "I must get his autograph."

                                She beckoned Gladstone to follow, shinies in tow. "Come, we'll track him down. Just make sure you've turned on the location thingie on your phone, we may end up in a very large, deadly maze. Bring a snack if you must." 

                                • Gladstone Gander
                                  Gladstone Gander

                                  David-? But she was already walking.  And she was so tall he had to practically gallop to catch up.  

                                  "Uh I don't think it was Ziggy Starburst creeping on Lilly... which is her name by the way why don't you jot that down... " on your probably very warm autograph pad. "No it wasn't a way for the Goblin King to prove he loved me, believe me, I'd know.  This was more... a smiling evil girlfriend stealing troll... if trolls were pretty.  And could control you... and..." He looked around suddenly and tossed the dress and the shoes aside. "...and I'm pretty sure he's not in the kitchen."

                                  But food sure was, had Malcia meant to wander right into the club's fully stocked kitchen as food was piled up in the window to be delivered to waiting diners? Did it matter? The dessert special tonight was a brownie ala mode with Rocky Road.  

                                  "Wait... did you say Macawber? That's so funny, I didn't know there was another sist-" The swinging door hit him before he triggered a lesson in that particularly gnarly famly tree.  The momentum of which knocked him into a shelf of baking supplies, a small jar of pearl dust tipping over and snowing on him making him shimmer. He exhaled angrily and tried to smack the powder out of his clothes.  "Ugh... faith trust and pixie dust again, what do I look like a-" He paused amid the iridescent fog he was creating then started and pointed both hands at Malicia in excitement. "FAIRY."


                                  ...Excuse me? Who do you think you're-


                                  "What if it was a fairy! Disarmingly beautiful! Sinister and sexy! Steals precious things and then... takes them... back to..." his smile fell. "Ohhh. I'm so stupid. Fay. Not even an alias." He slapped his forehead causing another fine smog of sparklies. "Lilly's been stolen by the Fae? I hope she knows not to eat anything... So since you're the expert." He sounded completely sincere, the poor soul. "Do you have any Fae traps or tricks to see where they took her?  Probably to the Fae realm but I doubt there'd be a fairy circle just randomly out in the middle of the street... what do you suggest?  Got any Seelie seeking missiles or Unseelie sensing underwear or something? You tell me Malicia, what do we do?"

                                  • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                    Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                    Mal spun around, fangs presently mid-bite through the brownie. She took a moment to upturn the entire dessert into her mouth and swallowed it in one gulp.

                                    "Fairies?" She paced around the room momentarily. "Now that you mention it, that would explain the unnatural energy in the air. Although..." Ding! Second lightbulb moment!

                                    "David Bow-wow-ie isn't a ghost! He's fae! Holy Hades, that explains so much." Did it really? "Come. The trail is still fresh." She grabbed his arm and dragged him out the door and through the still-bustling streets of the city. "We just need to follow it and if we're lucky the portal is still open! Then I can get my signature! And you can... what was it you wanted to do again? Find a troll to be your evil girlfriend?" Minor points for sort-of-listening earlier?

                                    It would be fruitless for Gladstone to amend her statement, because the demonness was already babbling on about how excited she was to meet such an iconic celebrity and also that it was high-time she vacation in another dimension. 

                                    Somehow, in some way, this had to be a stroke of luck for Gladstone... right? 

                                    • Gladstone Gander
                                      Gladstone Gander

                                      It would have been fruitless to attempt to correct Malicia, anyone wise enough to pick up on her clearly selective hearing would be able to determine that, which is why as she babbled about the possibility of celebrity encounters he simultaneously was recounting his adventures with his not at all evil troll of a girlfriend who had just been faenapped.

                                      "-and I don't even know how the criminal couple keep finding out where we're going to be. But it's wreaking havoc on my wardrobe I'll tell you that. I spent most of that evening in a cheaply made polyester suit covered in cake and she was marinated in musty old-" 


                                      Gladstone had been dragged directly into a sign.  The constantly conversing pair (we'll use that word regardless of the fact they were having two separate conversations) had covered quite a lot of ground despite their self absorbance. Gladstone frowned at the offending sign as the demoness continued her detailed descriptions of herself probably and he tried to plant his feet. 

                                      "Malicia!" heels scraped on  the sidewalk as he skated along as she continued on. "Hey! Wait! Stop! Look at this-" Gosh why was she not paying attention to him?! It was unheard of! "-HEY Red Head Reclamation! Pump the breaks!" 

                                      The sign would be one that was easily missed.  One that looked both ancient and brand new, it seemed to change in the light and alter from angle to angle but there was something otherworldly about it.  The symbols upon it in ancient and strange language but... one thing was universal.  An arrow pointing down an alleyway.  And if you peeked and squinted down that alley there would inexplicably be a wooden door overgrown with rich foliage and flora growing straight from the slimy bricks that made up the back of a sweet shop.  

                                      • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                        Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                        "Hm." Malicia stroked her chin thoughtfully. "Hmmmm."

                                        "I think, maybe." She poked her head around the corner to gaze down the length of the alley. "This could be a potential lead. Possibly." 

                                        It just isn't very obvious, you know?

                                        "I suppose we should investigate." Shrugging nonchalantly as though she was not expecting anything particularly supernatural or unforeseen to happen in the next few paragraphs.

                                        Ushering Gladstone to follow, she approached the door and gave it a rather thorough once-over. "Hmm... yes, yes." She muttered under her breath as she ran a claw across the wood and then inspected her finger. She plucked a single leaf from the vines and raised it to head-level in order to stare at it directly between her eyes. 

                                        "I think..." She finally said. "That I ought to have my claws manicured again. Those cheapskates downtown truly did not do my fashionable fingers any justice." 


                                        • Gladstone Gander
                                          Gladstone Gander

                                          "What?" Gladstone snapped angrily. Yes, this was ridiculous already.  No one could be THIS vain.  He very well could not reach the hand near her eyes without an airlift or at least a step ladder so he took the one that still hung at her side he narrowed his eyes at the manicure.  Give her a piece of your mind Glad! "...unbelievable. You JUST had these done? Was the manicurist BLIND? Look at sloppy gel work! And have they never changed their emery boards? The pigment is not supposed to be all over the cuticle either... atrocious. Next thing we do we're going back there and they will chisel the gunk off if they have to we're getting you another manicure this is... criminal." 

                                          Or you know be a vain idiot too.  Sorry Lilly.  Looks like you're on own on this one. 

                                          "But first." He said firmly, trying to get her attention.  He'd probably need something gaudy and flashy to do that... as if on cue a tall proud stag draped in leaves and glittering faintly reminiscent of a certain type of dancer one finds around poles, glided around them, wafting straight through the door without opening it, without lifting a finger, manicured or otherwise. Gladstone blinked after him, then up at Malicia, then back at the door.  "....I get a distinct feeling that this is the right place."

                                          • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                            Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                            Malicia frowned and nodded along with Gladstone's deep scrutiny, clearly in agreement. "Truly there is no justice in this world."

                                            But then!



                                            Gladstone had just barely finished his sentence and Mal was already halfway through the door, trailing after the shiny stag with grabby-grabby claws. "Come here my little pretty..." She crooned, hot on its heels. "That hide would look stunning draped across my sofa." 

                                            • Lilly Teal
                                              Lilly Teal

                                              It was just as well that the stag couldn't hear her, or was choosing to ignore her completely as it made its stately way through the door and onto wide open meadows that were definitely not the inner city alleyways of St. Canard. It seemed to have no goal in mind, just a gentle wandering, breaking out every now and again into a faster trot. For a while it seemed filled with energy, and bounded across a portion of the expanse that seemed to have no defining features whatsoever, though it came to a halt with purpose, as if it had found exactly what it was looking for. Oblivious as Malicia stalked closer and closer. It glittered. It gleamed. It-

                                              -let out a blinding pulse of light the second Malicia touched it. And where the beautiful, glittery stag had stood, was instead a glittery, very angry and not as beautiful woman, with Malicia's claws around her arm.

                                              "And what do you think you're doing, harassing me in my home?" she demanded, not intimidated at all by the height, the build, the claws or the teeth. But when she looked further down, she hesitated. "And... kidnapping... leprechauns?"

                                              • Gladstone Gander
                                                Gladstone Gander

                                                "Why is it always leprechauns?" The leprechaun grumbled then smiled a charming little smile filled with the promise of pots of gold for good behavior. "Hello young lady, is your mother home? Unless... no-" he put hand over his chest with mock shock. "It can't be you are clearly too young a spritely a creature to be mistress of these-" walls? nope. Halls? nada. This gag worked better when there was a literal house but he could improvise ('yes and-') "-beautiful woods isn't that right Malicia?" He elbowed her. "I told you that we'd find the most beautiful-" he tried to wink but was an a rather difficult angle to see her face. He backed up trying to get out of the mammory eclipse and then snapped his fingers to get her attention, pointed at his face, then winked.  Subtle. He turned the winning smile back on the borderline repulsive creature. "-the most beautiful enchantress to ever grace the mortal plane if we went through this door and I was right. I had no idea this door was here, does it get used often?"

                                                • Queen Malicia of St. Canard
                                                  Queen Malicia of St. Canard

                                                  "Ew." Hand recoiled in disgust. The shinies were gone and therefore the subject of interest was no longer interesting. 

                                                  "Well maybe if you weren't running around with a beautiful glittery coat I wouldn't have to harass you!" Gosh, again with the victim blaming, Mal. So awful. 

                                                  "Oh, the leprechaun is a willing participant." In theory. "We were actually looking for David Bow-woe-ie, he might've passed through here? Did you perchance see him?

                                                  • Lilly Teal
                                                    Lilly Teal

                                                    "I will wear my glittering coat wherever I want," the woman said with great dignity, drawing herself up to her full height, which admittedly wasn't very far. The issue with glittering goats of course, is it glitter gets everywhere. As Malicia spoke, she nodded her head but barely seemed to be listening as she brushed the glitter off of herself, littering the grass around her with sparkle. Every piece of glitter that came off of her seemed to gain weight and solidity.

                                                    You know how they say 'all that glitters is not gold?' that wasn't very accurate in this case, because it was gold. Small pea-sized lumps of gold that glinted warmly in the morning light, littering the dang place like they were discarded candy wrappers. She gave them about as much attention. Gladstone's flattery was far more engaging. She smiled, a not very beautiful smile. This had nothing to do with her teeth, which were clean but crooked, and everything to do with the fact that she was smiling at the two of them as if she had found a cage or a cooking pot exactly their size.

                                                    "Well aren't you charming?" He certainly was. "No this door isn't a very common one. I was hoping to pass through it unnoticed for a shortcut, I'm very late to the party."

                                                    THAT worked out well, huh? Shaking her head slightly, she focused on Malicia thoughtfully. "Nooo I don't think anyone's stolen David to sing at the party this time. You're a year late. But if you wait around a few more years should pass soon enough."

                                                    Shaking the last bit of gold out from behind her ears, she frowned. "I don't recognise either of you. Where are you two from?"

                                                    • Gladstone Gander
                                                      Gladstone Gander

                                                      Don't stare at the gold, don't stare at the gold, don't stare at the-


                                                      "Party?" He perked up at one of his favorite words, completely oblivious to any sizing up for crock pots going on. "Oh! YOU'RE going to the party too! Oh that's... that's wonderful! My friend here is..." Quick glance at Malicia as the wheels of deception spun like greased lightning. "-performing at the party! You see she got wind that Mr. Bow-wow-ie was hired to perform alongside her and just..." he winced, putting his hand up as if to shield his mouth from Malicia but not at all lowering his voice. "-oof they do NOT get along. Divas you know?  He's far too tacky, and tries to upstage her at every turn. So we thought we saw him and were going to ruff-ha- him up a bit to tell him to stay away from our gigs-" that's what they're called right? He was pretty sure he'd heard that before. "-but I guess we were mistaken! Silly us! But now if you'll allow us we'd be honored to accompany you to the party. You'll be the envy of all the 'eelies' to be seen with-" Don't give out your real name to any(more) fae. He could do this... he looked at Malica. "-Cagrand...ra Hots-en...feffer? The uh... magnificent. Yes. The Magnificent Cagandra, emphasis on the 'grand', Hotsenfeffer Queen of..." crap. "...paper craft? Uh and... macrame? I'm sorry I'm still stunned myself at being in the presence of such royalty as two fine creatures such as yourselves. I'm-" he held out his hand with a smile as shiny as the ankle high gold nuggets around him. "-Patty O'Irishman, Leprechaun and Agent to the Stars of the Fae realm. We're from..." uhhhhh. "....Florida."

                                                      Nailed it. 

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