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Andy asks:

I’m new to your email but I only have a few questions for you guys.

-Negaduck: Have you ever wondered about traveling to my world? Are you and Darkwing Duck cousins?

-Megavolt: I’ve always wondered if you colud help me with my science next year.I stink at science.

-Quackerjack: I love toys myself and I hope we can be friends.I’ll even test out your new line of toys.

-Bushroot: I always thought of you as a misunderstood scientist and when I’m not busy we could hang out.

-Liquidator: Can you talk without that announcer tone?

Write back soon.

Your biggest fan,
Andy


Re: Tall order

Negaduck: If I had a portal I’d travel everywhere. Of course, I would eventually take over and enslave your entire planet. Hope ya’ll don’t mind.

HAH! Me? Related to that purple pansy? Don’t bet your life on it. Really. Don’t. I never lose a bet.

Megavolt: Oooooh, you’re not going to beat me up and hang me off the flag pole if I refuse are you? Memories of high school, flooding back…

Quackerjack: Oh-hoh! You will?! That’s great! Because I just came up with this really fantastic exploding putty, and I’m curious how many blocks it’ll take out, hee-hee!

Bushroot: A lot of people seem to think I’m misunderstood. I guess I am, in some ways… especially where my experiments are concerned. Someday the world will realize the usefulness of using photosynthesis in place of eating!

Liquidator: The Liquidator responds to this query with a likely no!…And also cannot seem to stop speaking in third person.

Animation Fan asks:

Hey Fearsome Five! I just became a member of the “Old Haunt” forum, and despite it being pretty inactive (sort of) I know I’ll enjoy it there. So I have a few questions for each one of you.

Absolute Overlord NegaDuck- If you had a choice, would you rather switch places with Satan himself and rule the underworld, where everything you love is right there, or would you rather be the overlord of the entire universe, (with all planets, earth, St. Canard, etc.)?

Dr. Bushroot- I know you love plants, so I’m curious, what type of plant do you think would be best for someone that lives by the ocean? (No, don’t give me the ice plant answer, there’s too many of those around here.)

MegaVolt- Do you hear intense static whenever you are around electric appliances or anything else classified as electric? I hear them all the time myself. I know immediately if a computer or TV is on just by hearing the static even if the setting is mute.

Liquidator-I volunteer at a shelter where my job is to basically try to get animals adopted. (Not an evil job, I know.) There are some animals where most people just don’t want because they are 1) too shy, 2) are a darker color, 3) have attitudes, 4) or simply just don’t have an interest in people.

As a businessperson, would you have have any suggestions on how to get these little guys adopted? Stretching the truth? Touch the person’s tender spots with a sad story about the animal that would make the other person want to adopt the poor thing, or is there anything else you can think of?

Quackerjack- Has anyone ever told you that you are a lot like the Joker in Batman?

Okay, sorry, that was just a random question, I’ll be a little more serious:
Were any of your toys inspired by movies such as Chuckie?

Thanks for reading guys! Have a terribly good day!
Sincerely,
AF(AnimationFan) aka Am


Re: Twenty-questions

Negaduck: Torturing a bunch of dead lawyers just wouldn’t do it for me. I wanna unleash terror and chaos upon the GOOD guys and ruin everything they love, especially my dippy dogooder double! I care not for the saps who were banished to the underworld for kicking puppies (although I highly endorse Puppy Kicking).

Bushroot: Well um… you don’t live in the ocean right? You could always have a greenhouse nearby, then you can have just about any plant! Or keep one in your home. The little guys generally aren’t happy out by the ocean, which is why most beaches are bare.

Megavolt: Well my blender is awfully chatty… always gossiping about this-and-that and what the fridge was doing yesterday with the stove. Er, that’s what you meant by ‘static’ right?

Liquidator: Threaten to drown the adorable creatures if nobody adopts them! Ten out of ten veterinarians will agree that nobody will allow an animal to die needlessly… unless you’re my boss!

Quackerjack: Ooh really? I always thought my jokes were hi-larious but nobody else seems to think so because they usually start crying by the time I’m finished! I should ask this Joker fellow for some pointers… hee.

And no, absolutely not with a triple cherry bomb on top! That movie is absurd! After watching it, I asked Sparky to lend me some of his ‘lectric juice to give my toys that evil ‘oomph’ and all it did was melt them! Worst. Movie. Ever. I give it -4.6 Bananas out of 10 apples!

Courtney and Drakken asked:

Dear Future Overlords of our very existence,

 Hey-ya there. We, the two said beings writing this poor excuse of a letter, are huge fans of your work. And being future demented denizens of your chaos filled world, we wish to ask some questions that have been plaguing our sleep for some time now. We wish for you to answer. (Pretty please with chunks of minced hero mallard on top?)

To the Supreme Devious Negaduck:

Courtney – Is it fun traveling from one universe to the next? Any sort of tingling sensations? (Is it like swimming through chocolate pudding?)

DrakkenWasHere – Man, you are so amazing! Did you have to sell your soul or something to Lucifer in order to be just plain awesome? Where do you buy those cool fedoras? (I need some, gosh darnnit! Although you might want to find a Miss Carmen Sandiego, and introduce her to your chainsaw. I heard she’s trying to steal your look!) But most importantly, why do you work with the other members of your team if they’re actually the Friendly Four in the Negaverse? I mean, isn’t that just another reason to hate those knobs?

To the Overly Handsome Aquatic Canine:

Courtney – WHY ARE YOU HAWT?! *dreamy sigh* Looking for any gals to hang on your liquidy arms? If so… Here’s my number! That aside… did the transformation of becoming Liquidator actually hurt?

DrakkenWasHere – *shudders* Man…My younger sister is creepy. Moving on…What exactly are your feelings towards your sapling of a criminal companion? Bussiness partners, close friends, or something…More? I don’t know, my mind tends to go back and forth between the notions. I just wish you had more episodes! Besides that, I got to admit I love your voice. It’s soothing to me.

To the Sensitive Master of all Fauna:

Courtney – Awwww, sorry for those big mean scientist messing with you. I wish I could’ve helped out with that. (But then you wouldn’t have becomed a villain…Hmm.) We should get together some time for coffee and chat.

DrakkenWasHere – Wow, sir, what an honor! I got to admit I’m a big admirer. Let’s just say you’re an inspiration to all that have been bullied by society. And I’ll admit, I am slightly envious that Doctor Rhoda Dendron is the one you fancy. (But maybe we could be friends?)

Questions! Oh yes, I nearly forgot. I notice you’re quite a whiz in chemistry. Do you also care a degree in it? I’m thinking of getting a little potted plant to liven up my room. Do you recommend anything? Something that’ll add a little color, besides my green walls?

To the Demented Toy Maker of St. Canard:

Courtney – I like BananaBrain. He’s a cool guy, just like you Quacky! That is all.

DrakkenWasHere –  Ah, my favorite playmate! I love how whimsical you can be. You up for a game of hide-n-seek? I’ll admit I’m pretty good at not being found. Not it! *runs off to hide*

To Mr.BB – How does it go, Joe?

To the Ingenious Controller of Electrical Charges:

Courtney- Hi? I got nothing.

DrakkenWasHere –  Howdy, Megsy-Wegsy! Huge fan of your cause. I just feel so terrible of the enslavement of those poor light bulbs. Speaking of that…How is Sparkette? Herd you rescued the dear not too long ago. They’re an old pal of mine. But I got a very important thing to say: only toasters toast toast!

Thanks for taking the time to read our nonsense!

Sending Evil (Yet Loyal) Fangirl Love,
DrakkenWasHere and Courtney


Re: Freaky Fabulous Fangirls

Negaduck:

Courtney,
More like the sensation you get after a heavy night on the town, only to wake up the next morning to find yerself naked and hanging upside from a tree…… in a tiger habitat, at the zoo.

Drakken,
Hah, I’m 100% Pure Natural Evil, baby! No soul-reaping contracts required. As for the copy-cat, let’s just say stealing from her wardrobe has proven to be a lucrative pastime for me, heh. Do you know how much a villain’s underwear go for on Ebay?

And as for those four idiot henchmen of mine, they are indeed annoying, but they have their uses… like functioning as my personal shield under gunfire. Or pushing them in front of a bus when I need to blow off some steam.

The Liquidator:

Courtney,
The Liquidator unfortunately cannot recall the memory of what happened during his transformation, but knows it has proved worthwhile in the long run!

Drakken,
A businessman never reveals his secrets! Especially joint-partnerships.

Bushroot:

Miss Courtney,
Ah, well… I can’t drink coffee, but I’d love to talk! I’ll bring along my fertilizer tea!

Miss Drakken,
Wow, I’m not used to all these fan letters! Gee, I wish the guys appreciated me this much… er, not like that. But well… you know! I wish they’d respect me a bit more!

Oh, and I was primarily a Biology major, specializing in Botany. I did dabble a bit in Chemistry though, since it was important to my experiments. As for plants, I recommend you research something that suits your environment, based on how humid and temperate it happens to be. And never forget water and sunlight!

Quackerjack:

Courtney Bo Bortney,
You hear that, Mr. B? She thinks I’m cool! (Mr.BB: Dream on, Shawn!)

Drakkey,
NOT IT EITHER!  (Mr. BB: I’m doing swell, Nell! Aw… does that mean I’m It?)

Megavolt:

Courtney,
Really? I got a rash.

Drakken,
Ah, good to meet a fellow luminescent liberator! (salutes) All is well on the home front, I rescued a very timid incandescent earlier today. As for Sparkette, she hasn’t called… (sniff). Maybe I came on too fast?

Damonika asks:

I think y’all are the greatest villain group ever. Negaduck, you’re the most awesome villain ever and I think you have such a great voice. What is your favorite weapon besides your chainsaw?

Re: The Crazy Chick

Probably my missile-launcher. Ah, the good times I’ve had with Big Bertha…

No love,
Negaduck.

Jessy asks:

Dear Fearsome Five,

Negaduck – I love your voice. Hearing you utter a death threat always makes my day (as long as it’s directed at someone else, obviously). Say, what’s your favorite food? Eating puppies for da evulz does not count. By the way, you’re a huge inspiration to me. I aspire to be an engineer and I will count my life a success if I ever get around to building something with… The Switch.

Bushroot -You are so adorable, you must be drowning in fangirls. By the way, does Spike eat people? He’s totally cute, but that always worried me a little…

Megavolt – Uh… Do you do tutoring? I’d pay in currency or current, whatever you prefer.

Quackerjack – I used to have nightmares about you. I thought you’d like to hear that 😉

Liquidator- What was up with the girls you used to have around? They must have been stone cold professionals if they didn’t freak and make a run for it after your little accident. Do you keep in touch?


Re: Nightmare fuel

Negaduck: Hard Liquor. What, that ain’t a food? (cocks gun) Anyone care to argue that point? And I expect that switch will be killing plenty of do-gooders in the process, or you’ll be hearing from me.

Bushroot: Fa…fangirls? Well, maybe… As for Spike, he’s currently on a strict insect-only diet. It’s better for his cholesterol, you know?

Megavolt: I duuuuunno… I swore off tutoring after this one horrendous experience in high school helping out this Drake Mallard guy – he was a nut case!

Quackerjack: Cool beans! I have nightmares about the tooth fairy!

Liquidator: Survey says that the ladies like a solid guy with cold, hard cash. The Liquidator may no longer be solid, but his cash is still cold and hard! 100% guaranteed to ensure the ladies keep calling, especially of the Lobster variety!